The Burns
by DanieLovesYou
Summary: We don't know a lot about Zachary Goode or the Blackthorne Boys, but maybe there's a reason for that. The pulse of anger beats heavier where no love thrives, and so we never heal. No scars, no pain, just the burns. A preface to the Gallagher Girl Series, a story before the story, if you will. Read it, if you please. Completed.
1. Chapter 1: Introduction

**I know what ur thinking. "Nat u've got two stories to finsiha n now ur starting a new one?"**

**Well yes I am.**

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><p>Explanation for this story: You know I wrote "A Day with the Boys" which is frankly a happy story of the Blackthorne Boys. We all like to believe that. But that's no the reality. It is a school for assassins. And I felt that I needed to do something so people would see that there is a dark and light side to everything. But this story is gray. The boys are walking dead people. No emotions. And this is all in Zach's POV.<p>

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><p>THE BURNS<p>

CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION

I've always wondered why my life was this way. It's something I'll do until the day I may die. And if my life stays this way, it might be very soon.

And the worst part is that everyone knows. Everyone knows what kind of people we are. What we have done, what we cannot do. We can't hold ourselves back, from anything. We kill without thinking. We are merely by-standers of life. Only going through motions, no feelings. Never feelings.

But of course I was that one exception. The only one who ever loved.

The only one who could love.

We were known for not having hearts, and though we can play any role, we have no real emotions, no real purpose in our lives. Maybe once upon a time we did, but I think that time is well gone. But I wish that one day we will open your eyes to see the beauty that is in our lives. I have tried and failed to open their eyes. So I left. I blame myself if they were to end up as monsters. Only myself. Because what I did was selfish. But I couldn't help it.

And as I watch the ash pile grow larger and larger, I can't help think this was my entire fault. No one else. I had done this to them. I could have stopped this, but I didn't. I only hope one day they'll get it right.

The scars on us represent what we've done, but the black tattoo represents what we have become. And I hate what we have become. If only I could erase it all. The memories, the cries, the secrets, the tears, the lies, especially my own.

But there was still a chance. A chance because the fire is now over. The flames have died down. They weren't going to hurt us anymore.

And all that was left was the burns.

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><p><strong>SO any reviews on that, I'm really trying to write more, but I'm finding my self forcing the other stories. So I'm taking a short break and try writing these stories again before the end of November. <strong>

Nat


	2. Chapter 2: The Devil has a Son

**So I lied. I'm going to write my other story of Blackthorne. I think this one is way more realistic as to the real life of an assassin. So I should warn you this might say some things that you may not want to read; so I have no problem if you just dont read this anymore. If you really dont like it feel free to leave a review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Blackthorne Institute. (haha. that's new)  
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><p>CHAPTER 2: THE DEVIL HAS A SON<p>

I moaned.

Another cut on my arm brought a short amount pleasure, making me temporarily forget everything else.

This time I cut deeper and watched the deep crimson spill out like a rain droplet on a window, with quickness and grace. I closed my eyes and tried to enjoy the freedom, but my mind kept going back to her. Frustrated, I cut another slit, this time twice as deep; which brought even more pleasure.

It used to painful, but then the feeling come associated itself with pure bliss. Nothing made me happier than a good five minutes dedicated to self-pain through the day. I had been so busy with all the midterm studying that it seemed I'd never cut again.

I just wouldn't be able to live like that.

Ha, "live". I could barely call this living.

Life was really a strange concept, if you were lucky you could have the world at your fingertips. But only if God had graced you, if you were like the rest of the world then life pretty much sucked.

Yeah, I guess you could breathe air, and swim, and walk and shit; but how does that make one happy. How can any of that ever compare to love?

I used to love people, especially her.

We were always close, I was her favorite and she was mine. There was no argument about it, nothing else. Sadly that had changed in a matter of months, when poisonous words had entered her brain; like power and wealth.

Those two evils destroyed the life I had, and had resulted me to this, cutting my arms with a switch knife I had stolen from the headmaster.

I looked up, making sure no one was close enough to see what I was doing, because I couldn't get caught.

If I got caught, my mother would find out and then all hell would break loose.

Yes, my mother. _Her_. The Terrorist.

The Leader of the Circle of Caven.

The Most Respected Women ever to walk the halls of the Blackthorne Institute.

Cassandra Goode.

No one else than my mother.

That's why I had to be careful, no doubt if Dr. Steve told my mother about me cutting she would reward him and find a therapist for me.

But I didn't need help; I was perfectly fine; only having a little bit of fun. I wasn't really hurting myself, not the way the other Blackthorne Boys do with their alcohol, drugs, and sex.

What they were doing was a million times worth than the little reward I was giving myself for putting up for all this shit.

I blamed her of course.

I always blamed my mother for everything, but I had reasons.

If she hadn't joined the Circle than I could escape this hell hole and join the CIA without a question, but now they'll never trust me, all because of her.

And if she didn't join them, I'd still have brothers, and sisters, and a dad.

It was all her fault.

But I don't hate her; no I could never hate her. But that didn't mean I was going to join her. She had, after all, ruined my life.

"The Devil has a Son"

I heard one of my roommates say that when he thought I wasn't listening. Grant. Yes, that was his name. I never liked him. I hoped that he would die in a slow painful way, maybe by my mother. Now that was the kind of pleasure I didn't need a knife for.

I looked at the clock, almost time for 3rd period. Usually my classmates take the short time between classes to get high. I preferred to read or maybe even study.

I never pitied any of them; they had done it to themselves and deserved to die of intoxication or of an STD. It's what laid ahead of them in life. They'd never really be assassins. They didn't deserve to be called assassins. Most of them would probably die in a ditch before graduation, well if they can graduate. You would be surprised how hard some of these classes were. They weren't hard for me, because I had always been too smart for this school.

The bell rung.

I sighed and hid my knife back into my orange jumper and walked back inside where the smell of smoke overwhelmed me. But I didn't show it. I walked to the second floor where Weaponry Class would begin in a matter of seconds.

Oh, how rude of me; I never introduced myself.

Hello, I'm Zachary Goode; and Welcome to the Blackthorne Institute for Boys.

**So comment? Questions? Concerns?**

**I feel like this is kinda hitting the edge and I really want to know if you think this story will work out. **

**Lots of Love, Danie.**


	3. Chapter 3: Meet Chase

**Yay! No school today! I love life.**

**Disclaimer: The Gallagher Girls belong to ally carter**

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><p>CHAPTER 3: MEET CHASE<p>

"Detention for a week."

There are a lot of things that suck at the Blackthorne Institute. Like how some kids can get away with drinking in of their teacher and get away with it; and other bastards like me get one week detention for showing up two minutes late to third period.

"Heard you got detention for showing up late to class,"

My best friend, Chase, followed in step next to me. I nodded at his previous comment.

"Oh, Zach when are you ever gonna learn?" he laughed.

He was completely different than any other guy here at this school. He didn't let his past bring him down. He never loses sight one day leaving this place (like everyone else); but he believe in making his time her worthwhile.

He gave me a floppy smile that could make any girl crazy. I always considered him good looking, probably the best looking guy in this school, with floppy blonde hair and jade green eyes, he convince anyone of his innocence.

Sometimes I envied how care-free he was.

"Oh hey, I didn't tell you yet, did I? I got into the special CIA program for next summer!" he said, smiling like the moon.

This is why I envied him because he had a nice life. He was far away from his parents, who didn't know that he was an assassin and he didn't have a scratch on his record. No red flags came up with his name. All the teachers loved him, because even though we both got straight A's; he actually paid attention in class while I secretly flipped my teachers the bird when they weren't looking.

But I, of course, just said, "Hey, Chase that's awesome! You're going to have so much fun over the summer!" just like the amazing friend I was.

I gave him a soft smile and pulled my bag closer to my neck as we walked down the hall. He kept going on and on about all the details of his trip and I just walked along smiling and nodding while I was dying inside.

Not to be cocky, but I had known Chase long to know that he wasn't that good on the field. I mean his strong suit was keeping covers. What I hadn't told him was that I also had applied for the summer camp, but as predicted I got my rejection letter yesterday. I had burned it so that he would never know. It wasn't that I was mad at my best friend.

I was just mad at the CIA, because even though they knew I was a million times better than half of their applicants, they didn't accept me just because I was a Goode.

I had always been special and loved before the mess, now it seemed that I was hated and avoided.

_"Mom, can you tell Zach to stop pulling my hair!" My older brother Mason yelled. But I wasn't scared, I never was. Not when it came to my mother._

_My mom walked into the room her hair a mess, she held my younger sister in her arms. She cried and by the look of my mother's bags under her eyes; she's been doing that for hours. She looked at me with eyes that only I could understand. _

_I looked at my brother Mason, went up to him gave him a hug and said, "I'm sorry," like the amazing 3 year old I was. Mason crossed his arms and went downstairs to find Abby; she always consented that 4 year old. _

_I looked at my mom and smiled. She smiled and looked at me as if I was the most precious thing that ever walked this planet. She came up to me and kissed my head._

_"One day, you'll be the best spy of them all. No matter how many times try to break you down, I know you'll come back up. I love you."_

Those words were forever etched into my brain. Maybe I would have actually listened to them if she hadn't turned on me. I feel like if she died or went missing then I would feel a duty to pick myself up from where I am. But since she wasn't I wanted her to suffer with my failure.

"Hey Princess!"

A shout pulled me out of my thoughts; I turned around to come face to face with Jonas Anderson and Sean Till. Two guys Satan had personally brought up for me.

"Jonas, Sean. How are you today?" There was Chase trying to be polite and nice again, it was a naïve principle; but I assumed he just didn't want to clean up another bloody nose.

"Fine thank you Chase," Jonas smiled to Chase and then grabbed me by the collar. I heard Case sigh next to me.

Jonas is someone I really hate. And for multiple reasons too. One because he has plans of joining the Circle when he graduates, and that automatically makes him a dick head.

Second, because he was a two faced. You look at him and you see another shy, weak nerd that has talked to a girl or punched anyone and whose best friend is a calculator.

Wrong.

Jonas was actually very popular. Popular for beating me up. Despite his looks he was actually very strong. I would know.

But most of all I hated him because he was a jackass that thought just because he had girls dying to sleep with him he had the right to punch me.

However I had proved him wrong on multiple occasions. But he just kept coming back for more. You know like the sluts he sneaked into Blackthorne. They just kept on coming back.

He pulled up his fist when I heard a voice I'd never thought I'd hear again.

"Put him down."

I looked behind Jonas, to find the one and only Joe Solomon. He had work clothes on and it made me wonder why he was even here.

"Zach, come with me."

I followed him into an empty room feeling only a little sorry for my best friend that was left alone with two jackasses.

"What are you doing here, Joe?" I asked once the door closed.

"I could ask you the same thing, Zach?" he retorted.

I smirked, "Yeah, well, I asked first."

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><p><strong>I'm so proud of my self. Two chapters in one weekend. I'm actually really happy with the positive reviews for this story<strong>. **So as long as you keep reading I'll kept writing. Alright I gotta go but see you all soon.**

**Lots of Love,**

**Danie**


	4. Chapter 4: The Watching

**It's been a week since I updated and now I'm back!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Zach, but if I did he'd be shirtless right now.**

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><p>CHAPTER 4: THE WATCHING<p>

They stared. They all stared.

At first they would just glance at me and then go back to their business.

But today I could feel the glares and looks on my back; I could hear the snide remarks.

But of course, there was my best friend Chase sitting in front of me, totally unaware of everything else. He was smiling and greeted me with, "Hey Zach how was your day?"

I smiled weakly and muttered a "fine" and stared down into my plate. It was at times like this I was grateful I had such an amazing best friend. He started a pointless conversion with me just to take my mind off of things. But I only heard their words clearer. "He just saw Joe Solomon, another person from the Circle," one said.

I kept my eyes glued to the plate but I knew who had said it. It was Grant.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Chase shift uncomfortably in his seat.

"Hey, I'll catch up with you later," I said abandoning my tray and walking out of the crowded cafeteria.

I was terrible to Chase. He had a reputation. Everyone loved him, even the teachers. Damn even my mother would love him. I was another story. I was hated. By everyone.

I always wondered why Chase was still my friend. He had such a beautiful life ahead of him and he decided to ruin in by sitting next to me.

I let my feet wander themselves to an outside bench where I pulled out another knife. I rolled my head back onto the brick wall, and breathed.

I sighed; I know things would get easier when my mom started recruiting. It didn't matter if they were ruining their lives; they had already ruined mine; so I didn't give a crap. Maybe when she starts I'll start to get a little more respect around here.

I slashed a cut and waited for the blood to come out and dry. I closed my eyes and tried to take in everything around.

In a few months all these bastards will be on their knees begging for a job in the Circle. And of course I'd make them go through hell until I told them no. Sweet revenge.

"What the hell are you doing?" I turned around to find a boy around my age with brown hair and blue eyes. But these eyes weren't the eyes everyone else had reserved for me. They didn't judge. Those eyes didn't look at me with disgust. Only with curiosity.

He picked up the knife I had held in my hand.

"Russian? Nice. Though I prefer the Swiss. I feel that their blades are much more shaper, but I guess these go deeper. You know if that's your thing."

After being at the Blackthorne Institute for so long, you start to realize that people will sometimes appear and disappear out of nowhere. I was infamous for that. So I wasn't that surprised when this random guy comes up and starts talking about knives.

"So is there a reason you're cutting yourself? Or are you just doing it because this is a reality show in disguise and you want the fans to like you more than the other guy?" He joked, but my eyes looked at him with disgust.

"I guess not then," he sighed, uninvitingly sitting down on the bench with me, "I'm Grayson by the way. I already know who you are, so don't bother explaining."

I opened my mouth and then closed it and started to ask a question that I knew would get me nowhere, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to," he lifted his finger to insinuate a pause and then pulled out the Blackthorne informational pamphlet; I couldn't help but smirk, "reform myself into a young mind of intelligence and skill."

"I meant what are you doing out here. With me."

"Beats me. I'm just trying to find someone I can blackmail into becoming my friend," he turned to me with a soft smile.

I brought my leg over and slide of the bench, ready to walk back into hell.

"Well, trust me when I say you don't want to be my friend."

"Are you kidding me? You're Zach Goode? Cassandra Goode's favorite son! I have to be a stupid piece of shit to not want to be your friend. Especially because your mother is going to be here to tonight to recruit."

"Already?" I asked running a hand through my already sloppy hair. I bit my lip.

He stared down at his hands, took the knife (my knife) and put it in his pocket. I raised an eyebrow to him.

"You'll thank me later. What? Do you want the leader of the most powerful terrorist organization get mad when she finds out her son's a cutter?"

"Well," I said stepping closer to him for a scare, "She's not going to find out, is she?"

He took a step back and gulped.

I always knew I was scary and powerful. That I could conquer the world. But never in my entire life had someone shown absolute fear towards me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I scare Blackthorne Boys every day, but we're trained to hide fear.

That was one of the things I hated the most from Blackthorne; they taught you how to hide your fears, but not to have courage; how to kill, but not how to save; how to destroy, but not how to repair.

They always taught us how to hate, but never how to love.

And that part of me always wondered how the other side lived like.

I wrapped my arm and opened the door.

"C'mon," I said looking at him, "You don't want to miss my mom's speech do you?" I asked with an I-know-something-you-don't smile.

He only smirked in return.

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><p><strong>So the beginning part I wrote at school when some girls at school were talking about me, but in the end it gave me a perfect intro. <strong>

**That, my amigos, is what I call optimism. Or some shit like that**

**Also are there any A DAY WITH THE BOYS fans here?**

**Well if there are send in a review for this chapter and I'll send you a little sneak peak at the first chapter of my new story...**

**WHAT STRIPPERS DO!**

**You'll understand later.**

**But bye for now, have great sex;**

**Danie :( oh crap I meant to put :) LOL JK. Not I didn't**


	5. Chapter 5: The Truths

**So this week has been living hell for me for more than one reason. Bottom line is I'm not exactly in the happiest place right now and few days age I started getting depression thoughts again. I don't know. I'm really confused. I just want to become invisible and ignorant about everything going on with me right now.**

** But a few things did come out of this... An amazing chapter. I have to admit I really poured my heart out in this chapter.**

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><p>CHAPTER 5: THE TRUTHS<p>

Today was one of those days again.

Those days where I would cry myself to sleep at night and wake up with an emotionless mask.

And no one would ever even know.

But inside I wanted to scream at them, make them stop. Yell, shout, and cry out loud.

Tell everyone what's been killing me inside. Escape.

I wanted an escape.

To run away and never have to look back.

But most of all, I wanted to forget. To come back innocent and blissful.

I wasn't ever proud of what I've done or who I was.

Most of the time I usually got by hiding in the background and being invisible, I had always thought that the more I was invisible the less likely I was to get hurt.

I wasn't a pavement artist because I was born with that talent or because I wanted to be the best spy alive.

I was a pavement artist because I needed to survive.

I always considered myself a brave person, after all when you have a mother like mine you kind of grow on the independent side.

But in a sense I would always be a coward.

I would always hide from the truth and run away. It was sort of my trademark. But I didn't need other people to judge who I was. I know who I was and that's all I ever needed.

And even though my life inside school is living hell, right now that wasn't what was important.

Right now it only mattered what Joe Solomon had told me.

_Your mother's coming to Blackthorne to recruit. If I were you I'd run._

But I would never be able to run away from the truth, the living proof that one part of me would always be evil.

That as hard as I try, I'll never be able to escape; that I'd be stuck here for good.

I only prayed that one day after the fire is over, someone might be able to look back and be proud of whom I was or will be.

But most of all, I wanted to be proud of myself.

I want to be able to look Chase in the eye and smile.

I want to have Joe Solomon on my side.

I want to see my dad and family again.

But what I really needed was someone to say that they love me and that they would try to save me.

And it didn't matter if I'd spend my whole life looking for that person, I more than anything needed them.

If they even existed.

"Hey are you alright? You look like you've been crying," Chase said when I walked out to the patch of grass he was sitting on.

"Me? Crying? Wow, Chase how long have you known me?" I joked, knowing he would never see the truth behind my eyes.

"Ha, I get it, don't have to get all sarcastic on me," he laughed an innocent free laugh. I felt jealous.

I sat down next to him and pulled out my notebooks and started on the pointless homework they always gave us.

I felt Chase get up from next to me and walk away, probably to get extra credit from some teacher I've only cursed at before.

I put my books back into my backpack and let my head drop down onto the sweet grass and breathed.

I had always been on my own, so whenever I got the chance I only used it to relax.

"Hey, can I sit here?"

I turned quickly to find myself face-to-face with no one other than Grayson. Who at that moment decided it was a good idea to talk to me.

I shrugged and got back to staring at the sky.

I felt my eyes slowly fade away until nothing but pure ignorance fell around me.

I woke up a few hours later in my bed, two minutes before dinner.

I checked my clock at how long I fell asleep for, until I finally registered that I hadn't fallen asleep in my bed, but outside.

I shook it off and ran to the cafeteria before I got in trouble for being late again.

There I found Grayson crowded by most of the sophomore class, which I couldn't blame because he was kind of a likable person.

Chase was at the other end of the table all alone and I couldn't help think that maybe he needed me just as much as I needed him.

Sure lots of people liked Chase when they first met him, but then everyone would get jealous at how perfect he was. I'm not going to lie, I was one of those people but I got past that. That's one of the reasons why he had stuck around me so much, simply because I didn't hate him.

Also when his secret came out, I didn't judge him just because my secrets were a million times worse.

What was his secret? Well it was simple, but still painful. He didn't like to talk about it just as much as I didn't like talk about my mother. So basically we never talked about each other's pasts and breathed on the future.

The truth is that when Chase was around 6 his parents started putting him in their videos. And like family videos they email grandma, I mean pornography. Yes, Chase's parents are porn stars. And they thought they would attract more viewers by placing their 6 year old son into them. I'll leave aside that Chase was a sensation and get to the point that it took the cops 4 years to figure what his parents were doing. They were arrested and Chase went to an orphanage where he met Sean Till.

Sean's parents were former assassins so when Dr. Steve came to pick up Sean he also brought Chase along the way when he saw how strong he was.

I came up to him and smiled and for the first time in the 6 years I had known Chase I knew I wasn't the only one breaking.

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><p><strong>So yea it was hard... and this is why. So I was trying out for softball which I sucked at but I thought 'hey I need to do a sport' so I told my mom and she went out and got me all this stuff over the weekend and I come in on Monday hearing rumors that people were going to be cut from the team. So obviously I was cut but here's the worst part. I told my mom that I would stay after school to wait for my sister to finish track practice (she ended up quitting) but she told me to go home in the end. So today (Friday) my mom was so mad that I was cut that she called the coach. The coach told her that she warned the players that some would be cut. But of course she never said that. And I can get everyone there to swear to that. <strong>

**So my mom thinks I knew and told me I was irresponsible for making her buy lots of stuff when I knew I wasn't getting in.**

**First off I thought I was getting in, I didn't know people were getting cut. Second, I didn't buy it... she did.**

**However she still blames me and won't talk to me.**

**Also my dad got an interview and we actually thinking about moving, I was sad because I had finally made friends and she was taking them away from me.**

**So I guess some beautiful reviews would make me feel like I have a purpose... Sorry to vent out on you but I really needed it.**

**Later guys,**

**Danie  
><strong>


	6. Chapter 6: Recruiting Hope

**Alright how many months have I been gone? Don't worry I'm not dead. But I'm guessing right row you all want me dead.**

**Okay so I'm back and here for the summer! Yay! I'm kidding I'm not gonna have my tablet for summer, so my updates are gonna be little. I'm being such a bitch right now. No I actually want to update like once a week.  
><strong>

**For anyone who reads Curiosity killed the spy, please just understand that I actually hate that the story and I just can't write it any more.  
><strong>

**But I will update this one and my sequel.  
><strong>

**I should update one every week, so how about one post every Monday?**

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><p>CHAPTER 6: RECRUITING HOPE<p>

Do you know what's like being with someone that tears you apart?

That every second you're with them kills you, but somehow you can't even breathe without them?

That's something I've never felt before.

I don't want to fall in love.

Never.

Because that's how my father died.

I never met him, or knew his name for that matter. And it's not like the thought consumed me day and night.

But sometimes I can't help but wonder if my mom had fallen in love with my father or if he was just a hook up.

But whatever it was, it had gotten him killed; and it made me his bastard child.

Over the last few weeks, I had inevitably gotten closer to Grayson.

Most of the time, he was so light-hearted and funny. But around me, he turned somber. I didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. In a way he was just like Chase with that happiness. But I guess that's why Chase, Grayson, and I got along so well.

We were all broken and tearing apart, but they hid theirs with smile, while I hid mine with an emotionless mask.

I don't think I'd ever be strong enough to ever smile again.

The last time I smiled it was when my older brother was teaching me how to play soccer.

He didn't look anything like me; he had strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes. He knew he was a bastard child as well. But that's not what I remember of him. He was 16 and I was 8. I always remember that night in the park with the full moon out. I had just shot my first goal when a man came and shot him dead in the heart.

But that wasn't even the worst part.

When he shot him I turned around and saw the man in black and I got scared. I didn't help my bleeding brother, I ran away. And I never looked back. They found his body the next day in the park. Not only had I lost my brother, but any part of a family. I've been on my own ever since, with my dearest mother showing up every now and then.

Blackthorne made my life living hell.

In 6th grade my mom had sent me a message that she had caught his killer. I never found out what she did with him, but I remember his name.

"Sweetie, aren't you going to give your mother a hug?"

I turned around to come face to face with my lovely mother, her fiery red hair pulled back into a bun, she wore what looked like work clothes.

Considering my mom only wears cat suits and leaves her hair down, this was a very unusual sight.

And that only meant one thing.

She was here to recruit.

I was hoping for more time, but I guess a part of me always knew this day would one day come.

She didn't wait for my answer and ran to me and embraced me.

I lightly hugged her back, knowing that this week would turn another million degrees worse than my life before.

There was only one thing I loved about my mother.

She doesn't have unrealistic expectations for me. She doesn't care if I dress a certain way or if I talk about different things. She only expects me to be a good student and learn my place.

And even though my brother and I were both accidents, I know she has some maternal instinct.

She ran her hand through my hair, and gave me one of her unknown soft smiles.

"Go to the dining hall, your classmates will be there. I'll be there soon."

And with that she walked away into Dr. Steve's office.

The amount of dread I had walking into the dining hall must have been toxic. I could feel the air around me gets a million degrees colder. And more than ever, I wanted to run.

A few minutes later I found myself outside, my back against the brick walls of this hell containment. The rusty old bench I had been sitting on was colder than it has ever been. I almost had to remind myself that the days were getting colder and colder each and every day.

The razor blade felt even colder on my skin than it has ever been before. It felt almost unnatural.

It wasn't until my warn blood poured out that I felt right. Everything felt right.

Everyone else disappeared.

It no longer mattered what everyone else had ever said.

I didn't feel any pain, I felt relief.

I felt hope.

I knew that one day; I'd leave this hell hole. That everything would work out in the end.

I felt that I could always look up to the stars and knew that I'd never be alone.

That it all go away one day.

I put the knife back, hid my new scar.

And I ran.

After all, I had a speech to hear.

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><p><strong>So this chapter is actually very different than one for this story. <strong>

**I hope you can all forgive me for not updating in like months. :)  
><strong>

**Danie  
><strong>


	7. Chapter 7: White Walls

**Okay, First things first.**

**Now that I'm back from summer vacation and everything, I'm gonna try to put up a chapter every week. I am again gonna do them every Monday.  
><strong>

**Disclaimer:I do not own the Gallagher Girls.**

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><p>CHAPTER 7: WHITE WALLS<p>

The white walls felt like they were closing in on me. All the florescent lights stood parallel to each other on the ceiling, looking down on us.

I'll have to admit that there are some things that I'm not proud of doing.

This is one of those instances.

I was in the Circle's New York Base with a select group of my classmates, walking the halls quickly following a young man who looks like he could take all 20 of us Blackthorne Boys in a matter of seconds.

He walked with a swiftness and grace that no Blackthorne Boy had ever been able to conquer, and it made we wonder exactly where they had recruited him from.

"Agent 200567, please come to the control room immediately."

The voice boomed over us, shocking most of the boys; however the agent stayed calm. Instead he just said, "Stay here and don't get into any trouble."

Which is easy enough if you ask anyone; but then again we are Blackthorne Boys.

"Well, well, well. Tell me Zach; are you happy to be home again?" I head Jonas voice taunting me and I could hear the other boys laughing along with them, except for Grayson and Chase who both had their heads down.

I actually had been in this one before; in fact Jonas wasn't entirely wrong when he said that I was happy to be home.

This was the place where I had initially been trained; I had a lot of friends here. Friends who admired that my mother was so high up and that their parents were only guards. Life was great when I thought the Circle was good. It wasn't until Blackthorne and Solomon that I learned the truth.

"Tell me Zach; happy to be around Mommy again?" Jonas asked this time fake pouting slowing walking up to me.

"At least my mom's around," I answered. He stopped dead in his tracks.

Here's the plus side of being top of your class; you can easily break into everyone's files.

Now Jonas was actually a pretty rich kid, I mean he's loaded.

There's not a thing he doesn't have. However in order for his parents to get that money, they're never around, always on missions. He only gets to see them once a year, if he's lucky.

Jonas spent many years on his own with no one but a nanny or a butler for company.

The crowd that had started to form around us was dead silent.

I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to hit me. He tried to sock me right in the jaw, but I was tired. I didn't want to be his punching bag anyone.

I was done being his little puppet.

So that's why I caught his punch in my hand. It really was a simple move; I had learned it when I turned ten, from my mother. No doubt she'd be proud to see me beat up a kid who disrespected her and her job. Or at least that's what I'd tell her when she asked.

But right now, the only thing that kept Jonas calm and not out to kill me was the fact that I had just beat him.

However since this was Jonas Anderson, there was no way in hell that he'd go down without a fight.

His leg tried to sweep me off my feet, but his moves were too predictable and I easily jumped taking his fist and his whole arm up with me. While he was still trying to get back on his feet, I was able to flip him over, his back making a thump on the ground.

He stayed on the ground and just looked at me. My eyes didn't faze, didn't blink. Sure, if I wanted to I could have beaten him up right then and there, but I decided against it. Considering we were still in a Circle Base.

Jonas got up looked me in the eye and grinned, "Nice one, Goode."

My face was expressionless, I didn't plan on ever letting anyone now at that this crap school exactly how good I was, but I guess it was time for a change.

So I only smirked and said, "Next time you won't get so lucky."

With that everyone froze at my boldness, until the agent came back and started leading us down a narrow hall again.

"This hall leads us to the torture rooms."

He kept walking briskly until he reached a while door, but as soon as he opened it the white walls were no longer immaculate, but instead were stained with dirt, grime, and most of all blood.

Screams of pain and agony choked us in the narrow hallway. Sobbing was heard until a voice called out, "I see the Circle has some new recruits."

The agent leading us scoffed and turned to us, "Don't worry about that one, she has a tendency to want to damage people emotionally."

"Maybe that wouldn't have been a problem if you hadn't taken my family away from me," the voice called out again this time with venom in her voice.

I, like the rest of my classmates, stood still as our leading agent called on a guard to put the girl to sleep with some kind of an injection.

Her screams echoed in my ear and reminded me of how once I used to love this base.

How could a place with so much suffering to others, bring me so much happy memories?

We started walking down the horrid hallway, pleads of help making guilt apparent on everyone's face, except for mine. I couldn't break now, I had to be strong. People knew me here.

Everyone walked past the last cell with a girl passed out, no doubt from the injection they gave her. And for a girl in pain, she looked peaceful.

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><p><strong>So, I've been writing a lot lately, so I have a few more chapters already written. But honestly I need reviews, I mean there's really no point in writing if no one's gonna bother to read. So if you can, please review. Also I'm really starting to get where I want to be with this story, and don't worry I have my sure complication for this story, so I won't be stopping it anytime soon.<strong>

**Danie.  
><strong>


	8. Chapter 8: Background

**Everyone you have no idea how happy I was with the response I got from the last chapter. Like seriously, I think I almost started crying. It's just been so long since I've been on fan fiction. And to have all your support is even better. So I've decided that as an apology for not writing in like six months I'm giving you another chapter. And next Monday you'll have another one... and this will be special cause it's kinda where everything falls into place and is my favorite chapter so far. And not to mention next Monday is my birthday!  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own**

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><p>CHAPTER 8: BACKGROUND<p>

I feel as though, I'm giving you a story without any background. Like these are all just scenes in my life. But they're not. I have a reason for depicting certain things here.

What I really want is to show you my story.

But I'm afraid I can't show you much of my story if we don't clear out some facts, right here and right now.

First things first, my mom's a bitch.

I mean it; she was married and had affairs with other men. One of those men resulted in me, the other my brother Jesse.

So I'll start from the beginning so you can get the story straight.

My mother first had relations with a man from her hometown, after he found out she was pregnant, he left her. Regardless to say, he didn't get far before my mother found him and killed him.

That kid was Jesse. Jesse Goode with strawberry blonde hair (okay he was a ginger) and blue eyes. She had started training with him at age 2, and as a result he became a young legend. At age 16 he had pulled his biggest mission, making a Morgan girl disappear. However that mission had gotten him killed that night at the soccer field.

My mother stayed with Jesse until he was about 5, when she permanently dropped him off in the New York Circle Base to train. When he was about six, he received news that his mother was getting married to man who worked for the CIA.

With the CIA man she had another son, Rick, and about a year later she also had Mason. But because this is my mother, she wasn't exactly married to this man for love. No, she married him so that the CIA would believe she was on their side. And while she was married to this man, she had relations with another man, my father. Obviously, she had me (her favorite son) and then three years later had twin girls from her husband.

When I turned 4, I started to really resemble my birth father and so her husband starting piecing things together. But by the time that happened my mother had my things and her things packed and we made a great escape.

This was around the time that her true alliance came into light. She was officially on the run, so she went to the only place she could, the New York Circle Base.

I was raised in the New York Base with Jesse; and although I can remember my other half brothers and sisters, Jesse is the only one that stuck in my head as family.

So there you have it my life history.

Of course I should also point out that my mom's ex-husband and his children went missing around the time I entered Blackthorne in 5th grade. Two years later her ex-husband was found dead, literally in a ditch.

So I think it's safe to say now that the only real family I have left is my mother; and of course my father, wherever the hell he is.

I know, I know.

I have one fucked family tree.

But I think right now we should get back to the story.

The New York Circle Base looked the same as it always had, but I could sense that things we very different.

The agile man in front of our group kept walking at a fast pace, that had all of us Blackthorne Boys jogging to keep up, everyone except Henry Scott who was quicker than any teenage boy should be.

Suddenly our tour guide turned on us; we all stopped abruptly, and I heard two boys being knocked into each other.

"Now, you'll meet some operatives around your age who've been servicing the Circle for years."

Suddenly, my pervious life flashed before my eyes. All the years I spent training here until one day I left, without saying goodbye. This was the part I was dreading. Not meeting other Circle leaders, not the torture room, not even Jesse's old room could bring on this much pain. Because if there's one thing I learned about Circle members, is that they always hold grudges.

I did my best to hide behind my classmates, and pretend like I was new to this place like they were. I stood absolutely still and summoned my most inner pavement artist-ness. But then again, I was a fucking legend in the Circle. It was only a matter time before someone would recognize me.

Inside a quiet room stood teenage boys and girls talking and laughing like they were normal people. The tour guide gave a small and rude introduction for us and for a few seconds there was a quiet stare down between Blackthorne Boys and Circle workers. I kept my eyes to the wall behind the members, because eye contact is one of the few things that can get you caught.

Finally a Circle member, Tony Aveda, extended his hand to Chase, who was at the head of the group.

Tony's father was also part of the Circle; Mark Aveda is the head of, well, the dead people. Anyone who dies because of the Circle is reported to him and each year he puts a list out of every person dead because of the Circle.

Maybe Tony would have noticed me; after all he was practically my best friend when I was here. But I guess we'll never know because at that moment a piercing siren was heard and white lights flashed across the walls.

Our Tour Guides eyes flashed and looked over at us, "Follow me."

He walked even quicker than before, and even Henry Scott looked strange jogging in the immaculate hall. I found myself struggling to move with the group, but most of all I felt my senses fading. It was like my body was going one way, but my head was telling me something else.

It was like I had seen this before, the sirens and this place together. And before I knew it I was abandoning the group and moving toward a staircase that led to the torture rooms.

I opened the large concrete door and entered the four digit combination. I don't know what took over my body then but it was as if my body was programmed to do these things. And honestly that is the only explanation I have for what happened next.

I ran to the last cell and pulled out the extra bobby pin I kept in my sock (I know it's strange, but effective). I immediately unlocked the cell and punched in six other security codes that I knew by memory. I used my sleeve to wipe any DNA I left behind and opened the heavy metal door.

I harshly shook the girl awake and watched as her blue eyes look around the room and finally at me. There was pure confusion in her eyes, but I only led her quickly out of the cell and the torture room.

"Go up this staircase, take a left and keep on going until you see a big door. Punch in the codes 4932 7450 2841 and finally 5537. You're on your own from there on." I pushed her up the staircase and followed her until we we're on the ground level.

The sirens seemed louder, the lights felt brighter.

"Why are you doing this?" She suddenly turned on me. "Why do you want to help me?"

"I don't know." That's honestly the best explanation I can give.

She looked around quickly checking for guards, but surprisingly the hallway was abandoned.

"I'm Sam Pine; remember that if you're ever in trouble."

I nodded my head and watched her run away. I ran, faster than I ever had before until I found myself with the group again. And when Chase turned around, I knew that no one knew I had left.

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><p><strong>Alright guys I need your honest opinion, if it sucks then tell it to me. I want to hear the truth. Alright I'll see you all next week. Also I want to clear up that I'll try to get something up every Monday, whether it be on this or my fiction press channel. Oh yea, I have a fiction press. I haven't written anything yet but it'll come soon. My username is the same as this one, so people know it's me. :)<br>**

**Toddles. :)  
><strong>


	9. Chapter 9: The Search

**Okay everybody, here it is as promised on Monday. I would have uploaded it before but I had so much homework. (Screw Honors Classes) So yea...**

**ITS MY BIRTHDAY!  
><strong>

**Yea, I was so happy this year, I mean it was the first year that I actually had friends to tell me happy birthday. It was an awesome day, so yea. :)**

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><p>CHAPTER 9: THE SEARCH<p>

The next few weeks were boring and uneventful, which is strange at an assassin's school. But I always had this nagging idea in the back of my head, so even though life was perfectly calm, I never felt so conflicted in my entire life. That girl from the Circle has kept me on edge for the longest time. Forget the fact that if anyone ever finds out what I did for her, I'd have to go into hiding for the rest of my life. What I was really worried about was actually her, if she made it out alive, or if she took a few steps out to be pushed back in. The uncertainty was killing me.

I knew I could search around for her, if I wanted to, but I wasn't exactly good at the whole databases crap. I probably would get far before my whole computer would shut down. I needed a true tech genius, specially a hacker. I didn't practically like where this was going, but there's no one better.

There were many risks going into this, I thought. I mean, if he said no he could tell a teacher, or even worse, find out who she was and dangle that information over me.

I walked slowly into the sophomore bunker, opening the door to be face to face with Jonas and Sean talking in hushed tones that instantly made me curious.

However, when I walked in, they turned to me and glared at me as if eyes could kill (dumb idea, really, I'd prefer to murder someone with my hands). I exhaled and walked slowly across the room to them. Sean and Jonas started getting up.

"Didn't know you wanted a rematch, Goode. If I did, I would have called an audience," Jonas said a knowing look in his eyes.

"I don't," I answered and breathed in again, "I need your help."

Their reaction was kind of ridiculous to me. But when I think about it, I'm a guy who can make it completely on my own, I never need help, it just isn't my thing.

So I guess that explains why both of them burst out laughing. They looked as if they were starting to get teary when the laughter died down. I had to fight every instinct to kick them in the balls.

I rolled my eyes. "You can't be serious, Goode." Jonas said with a taunting look in his eye.

My face stayed the same.

"Jonas, I think he's serious." I'm not gonna lie, that's actually one of the few times I've actually heard Sean Till talk. I'm not even kidding, half of the class actually thinks he's mute.

"Okay, Goode, exactly what do you want help with? And then I'll decide if I'll help you." At the same time, they crossed their arms (talk about weird).

I sighed and looked at my feet, "I need your help to find someone."

"We talking hacking CIA, Interpol, FBI, or something a little more complicated?"

And for the first time, I didn't see the jackass who was personally out to ruin me; but instead a guy who finally wants to get some credit for his brains.

I shrugged, "Could go either way."

We locked eyes as Jonas Anderson asked his last question, "Is it something that could get us in trouble?"

"Yes."

And then I saw something remarkable happen, Jonas looked over a Sean, and as if they were reading each other's minds, they both smirked.

"When do we start?"

"As soon as possible, her name's Sam Pine. That might be her real name, or it might be cover; whatever the case find what you can."

"I'll do my best," Jonas said.

I walked out of my room, with the biggest relief in the world. I think at one point I almost starting skipping, which makes this even more embarrassing.

In my happiness, I hadn't realized that someone else was coming the other way. I ran face front into a group of seniors. I mumbled a sorry and walked off.

"Hey, you okay?" Chases asked as I sat down across from him in the cafeteria. I looked at him suspiciously.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Because you're actually smiling, someone tell you Ms. Huff was retiring?" Grayson asked slipping into the empty seat next to me.

My only reply was "Ms. Huff is retiring?"

"No, not yet; but we can hope," Grayson answered with a teasing smile, "But seriously, what the hell with the smiles?"

I shrugged, not intending to answer his question when Jonas and Sean slid over next to Chase. Chase gave me a look and said, "Um, Hi."

Jonas turned to Chase and smirked, "Hello."

Grayson leaned forward, "Can we help you?"

"Relax, we're not here to talk to you, we're here to talk to Zach."

That made Chase and Grayson immediately turn to me.

I raised my eyebrows.

"We need to know more about the girl. You know easy things like hair color and eye color and estimated height. I know it can be in a cover, but what matters is how well she put together that cover."

I sighed, "Dark brown hair, blue eyes, and I don't know, the normal height for a girl?"

"Good enough," Jonas said.

"Zach who exactly are you looking for?" Chase asked in a tone I've recognized before.

It was the tone he used every time he thought I was on the verge of breaking, or killing myself, or running away, or basically anything dangerous. It was one cushioned with love and support and other crap. I instantly got angered at the tone, and at Chase's assumption of my fragility. But I kept my cool, like I always did in these kinds of situations.

"I'm looking for friend that I haven't seen in the longest time. I heard about her recently and wanted to see if there was a way to find her."

Grayson and Chase nodded in understanding, but all I could think was that I was gonna find her. Wherever the hell she was and then she can answer the question that had been raking my mind since I saw her.

'What did the Circle do to you?'

**Okay that's pretty much it for today, I'll see all you crazy mother fuckers next week. Maybe I'll even have some thing else or whatever. Keep breathing, keep living, and most of all keep dreaming.**

**Danie  
><strong>


	10. Chapter 10: The Team

**I almost decided not to update, but then I realized that I didn't want to be that girl on fanfiction. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the plot**

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><p>CHAPTER 10: THE TEAM<p>

I walked to my normal bench outside and pulled out my old knife. (I had stolen it back from Grayson; he either didn't notice or didn't care.) I sighed and pulled up my sleeve. It had been a hard week. Since Jonas decided to layoff for a while, all the other boys decided to take a stab at taunting me.

Yesterday the group of seniors I ran into decided to tape "FAG" all over my locker. And today, a group of seventh graders told me to strip in the middle of the hallway. All of them ended up in a temporary coma, and the best part was I even got extra credit.

I sighed again, slicing my knife across my arm.

I thought about my mother's last words.

_I had just joined the group again when my mother assembled all the Blackthorne Boys in the official Circle meeting room._

_"Boys, a few minutes ago we had an alarm sound. That alarm is for a break in. Don't worry though, the problem has been taken care of and the intruder has been taken care of. For your safety you are to stay here until further instruction, and then we will continue your tour."_

_Before I knew it we were back on the bus. I sat next to the window next to Chase, and he sat next to Grayson. Grayson was too busy socializing with the rest of the bus, to notice my conversation with Chase. _

_"You okay?" he asked._

_I turned my head away from the window and looked at him, "Yea, I'm fine? Why are you looking me like that?" I said feigning innocence. _

_"Nothing," he shook his head and directed his attention back to Grayson._

I looked down at my hands and thought the words over and over again.

_"The problem has been taken care of and the intruder has been taken care of."_

Who did I hurt at the expense of letting the girl go?

The lunch bell rang.

I sat down next to Chase who seemed preoccupied with something else. It almost seemed unnatural to ask, "You okay?"

He turned around, completely surprised at me; like he hadn't even noticed I had sat down.

Story of my life, right?

"Yes," then he rethought his answer, "No. It's complicated. I'm looking for Alex James."

"Emo Alex James?" I asked poking the mashed potatoes on my tray.

Chase gave me a look like, 'Really? You of all people?'

I shrugged and looked around the cafeteria. I wasn't even surprised to not see him around. Alex James was a lot like me actually. The only really dominant issue was the he was open about his cutting and emo-ness, if I may call it that. He dyed his hair black last year. And whenever we get the chance to go to town, he wears all black. The dude even wears eyeliner. Granted, he's one of this schools best students and his father runs a very important and classified organization. Although, he does have a lot more gay rumors following him than I do.

"Why are you looking for him?" I asked my eyes still on the mashed potatoes.

"I thought we should let him eat at our table."

But Alex didn't show up.

Instead, Jonas and Sean decided to sit at our table again.

They had found nothing on the girl.

This plan was starting to sound more hopeless than ever.

I walked outside after curfew to get some fresh air. I had been so busy with homework that I hadn't even gotten time for cut.

I was about to walk to my bench (hereby referred to The Bench) when I heard a noise. I looked out to see no one other than Alex James slitting his wrists.

See, no one knows I cut; other than Grayson, no one.

But Alex was a different story; everyone knew Alex was a cutter. He showed his scars to seventh graders to scare them off. But no one had ever seen him cut.

Part of me almost didn't believe he did. After all I was always outside whenever we had any free time. And I've never even seen him outside of classes. But now it's starting to make sense. The reason why no one had ever seen him cut was because he made sure no one could see him. If there was anyone else in this entire school that could sneak out and not get caught, it was him. Him and of course Chase and I, but Chase would rather cut his balls off than sneak out after curfew.

And suddenly Alex James wasn't someone I needed to stay away from; he was someone who I needed on my side

"Hey, Alex, you know that's my bench?"

Alex James turned around startled; the look on his face was priceless.

I walked (okay, I strutted) towards him, sat right next to him, pulled my sleeve up, pulled out my knife, and cut my arm.

Dear Lord, I wish I could have taken a picture of his face.

"You know, I usually call this my bench, but I think I'm okay with calling it the cutter's bench."

He face was still frozen in what looked like sheer shock. I laughed.

"Don't look so surprised, just because I don't announce it to the world, doesn't mean I don't do it."

Suddenly he regained his composure.

"Sorry," he mumbled, looking at the ground, "I never pictured you as the sort of guy who cut himself."

I raised my eyebrows, "Then what did you pictured me as?"

"An arrogant asshole who thinks he rules the world because of where his mom works."

My mouth dropped for two reasons.

Number 1, because I've never heard Alex James say something so insulting to anyone's face, and Number 2, I didn't consider myself arrogant.

I know I'm not a saint, and I'm not nice to people at all. But I've never been arrogant. At least I didn't think I was.

See that night Alex James made me realize something about myself, that I would have never even noticed.

After so many years of hurt, I had subconsciously built up a wall. And that wall was cocky, arrogant, and just right down bitchy. It was someone I had created to get people to stay away. Because somewhere in my head, I knew the minute someone got too close, they started to see the real me.

And for me, nothing was worse than being completely unguarded.

That night was one with little detail. We sat there for a while just cutting, not even talking. And later we walked together back to the sophomore bunker.

When we walked in, we were greeted by a crazy Jonas, who in fact had stayed up all night finding the girl. He had found a lead, through one of the girl's friends.

"I think we might have her. But we need to talk to this other girl, who apparently is close friends with her." Sean nodded and passed some papers to me. It was strange to see that they had tracked her down through twitter. I almost did a double take, what kind of a spy has a twitter?

"But the girl's not easy to find. We're gonna need a team, and a good one too." I looked around the room, mentally picking out the team members. I had Chase, Jonas, Grayson, Sean, and even Alex so far. But with this mission we would need a lot more.

"What's her name?" I asked, my eyes still scanning the room.

"Cameron Morgan."

**There you have it, the grand ending of chapter 10. Check next Monday for the continuation... trust me you'll love it. Leave reviews if you like it and I'm gonna ask you something personal.**

**If you'd like to, would you mind telling me how you got out of depression. So if you had it, would you mind saying how you got out. It's just as though I feel if I know you I can really write FOR you.  
><strong>

**K, bye.  
><strong>

**Danie  
><strong>

**PS. Right now I'm really scared because the is a ginger following me on fanfiction. Now I know here, but she's got me freaking out... she even reviewed... so GINGER LEAVE ME ALONE! You know who you are...  
><strong>


	11. Chapter 11: Persuation

**Okay guys I know it's kinda late but I made a promise and I'm sticking it through!  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Gallagher Girls**

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><p>CHAPTER 11: PERSUASION<p>

"You're absolutely crazy, you know that right?" Chase asked as we walked down the crowded hallway. I looked around; making sure no one was looking at us.

"It's not something that I don't know. Listen Chase," I walked in front of him and stopped him, "Either you're in or you're out." I looked at him and right then I noticed that first time in all the years I'd known him, he almost seemed scared.

I breathed in, "If you won't do it, I'll find someone who will."

I wasn't normally the moody type, especially not when it came to Chase. But right then as I walked away, I didn't look back. I wasn't holding back.

This is bigger than me, bigger than Chase, bigger than anything I had ever hoped to imagine.

This is finally it, the moment when I'd officially go against my mother and the Circle.

And this was about me, not about my complex relationship with Chase, or Grayson. It wasn't about the disappearing Solomon. This wasn't even about the girl or her friend.

This was for me.

"Hey Zach," I turned around to come face to face with Jonas Anderson.

You know the craziest thing has happened. I had asked Jonas, Sean, Alex, Grayson, and Chase to join me on my mission to find Cameron Morgan. The only answer I had gotten was from Jonas who answered in a heartbeat. He was the only one who agreed with my crazy idea for finding this girl.

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"I was thinking about people we would need for," He looked around and leaned in, "the mission."

I sighed, "Who?"

He shook his head, "You're not gonna like it."

"Then why are you suggesting it."

"Because there's no one better."

"Whatever, tell me at lunch. I have somewhere to be right now."

I walked away from a second person that day.

I knocked on Dr. Steve's door. I was scared as hell. I mean when your teacher hands you a yellow slip telling you to see the principal after class, you get kind of freaked out. So I think it's reasonable to say that my heart was beating too fast.

My real worry was the little conflict at the New York Circle Base. I mean if anyone were to find out what I did, I no doubt would end up in a Circle prison or dead.

"Come in," he yelled.

He was working on his desk, filling out some paper that I will never have the clearance to read.

"Ah, Zachary Goode, come in and take a seat. I need to have a word with you, young man."

I sat down in one of the seat across from him. He started organizing some papers on the desk, while I took in his office.

The office was square shaped; there were only two air vents, both that were probably spy proof. Overall he had a homey, comfortable look that looked so foreign compared to the school.

He finally decided to look at me and smiled, "Zachary I want to talk about your grades."

*Insert gulp here*

"It seems as though you have the top grade in our sophomore class. And I wanted to extend a congratulation on your hard work with the school."

Here's the thing. After being told that you're a worthless piece of shit for a long time, having someone congratulate you is kind of awesome.

"I believe your mother will be very proud."

And just like that the mood is killed. Thank you world for ruining my day.

But please, let's get back to the issue at hand.

After I had left Dr. Steve's office and done my homework (okay so I skipped a few parts) I had found myself alone in the Mess Hall.

It wasn't long before Jonas found me. He was the first one of my friends to make it there.

Whoa, whoa. Back up there Zachy, I didn't just call Jonas my friend right? The guy who pushed and shoved me and made my life hell?

Dear Lord, what is happening to my life?

Jonas handed me a slip of evo-paper. I opened it and saw the names of my classmates scribbled on it.

Surprised is a weak word to describe what I felt. I think complete and utter shock is more appropriate.

One of the first names I saw was Grant Newman, that along with Nick Kern. Oh and dear God save me now, Max Rears was on the list too. I scanned lower, until my eyes came across Carson Blue. That was it.

"These are the people?" I demanded from Jonas, he recoiled from the tone of my voice.

He seemed almost shy when he answered, "I told you, you wouldn't like them."

"Like them? Like them? I rather get punched in the balls!"

Okay so I admit I wasn't exactly keeping my cool. But if you knew the guys on this list you'd think the same. There was only one person on this list that I didn't passionately hate.

And even he was on the brink of my hit list.

This couldn't be happening, this was the moment where I'd become one of the best, where I'd finally prove myself.

And I know I'm kind of acting like a little bitch right now, but who the fuck cares?

I put my head into my hands and decided to reevaluate the situation. On one hand, I didn't want to go on a mission with a bunch of jack assess. But on the other hand, I couldn't go alone.

And as much as I hated to admit it, I needed these useless pieces of matter.

"Zach?" I looked up at an anxious Jonas and I realized something that I had known all long.

I looked around at all the boys at this school. They were all the same, but at the same time, they we all different. We were all exactly same.

We had intense covers and problems. We all had our own things going on, and for the first time I realized that these guys had problems too. Including Jonas.

I had always assumed that he had a perfect life, a nice house, money, and two parents. In my eyes, he had it all. And although I knew his parents we never around, I never realized the affect that had on him.

It's strange isn't it? How suddenly our eyes can be opened after we decided to step out of our own personal bubble and see the world around us in a new light?

It's like something that was right in front of us, but we never saw. Like one of those corny chick-flicks.

It's something almost incredible, how one simple idea can unlock the secrets of the universe if you look far enough?

So maybe that epiphany led me to the most monumental moment of my life, one that I would look back on as the turning point of my life.

I gave Jonas a small smile, "Let's do this bitch."

**This is actually started to get very very exciting. I'm practically peeing myself... Okay maybe that was too much info. haha. I'll see alll you crazy motherfucking bitches next monday.**

******Later hoes,  
><strong>

**Danie  
><strong>


	12. Chapter 12: Step One

CHAPTER 12: STEP ONE

I stood at the top of the cliff. I saw the beautiful waterfall under me and the clear sky ahead of me. It was the most immaculate image I had ever seen.

Unfortunately, that beautiful image was ruined by a screaming Grant.

"Let me go! I don't want to do this anymore!" Nick Kern, Dave Calins, and Liam Kelly all held Grant Newman back as he tried to run away from the group.

With the help of Grayson and Chase, I was able to kidnap every guy on Jonas' list. It was hard work but after all I was the son of a terrorist.

There was loud commotion behind me. I sighed. This was going to be a long day.

I heard Liam Kelly's soothing British voice behind me, "Grant, I swear everything is gonna be alright. Me and the lads are gonna make sure that nothing bad happens."

I almost smiled at his innocence.

Almost.

I turned around to Grant, "I can't guarantee that." I looked at Liam, "Sorry, Liam."

There were twenty guys in total, including me. According to Jonas, all twenty were capable of a lot more than the world believed them to be. Not that I really cared.

After all, it wasn't my mission to make sure every Blackthorne Boy gets noticed. I looked around at them. They were all completely different.

And when I saw that I'm not even talking about appearances, I'm talking about personality. I see guys like Liam who wouldn't hurt a fly, and guys like Grant who better rot in hell.

It was finally Dylan Johnson (half of the ginger twins) who spoke.

"Alright, Zach, I think you've had your fun. So tell us. Why are we here?"

The small chatter that started to form instantly died down.

And as I looked around them, I realized that the strongest thing we have is trust. If I wanted to find that girl, I had to tell them the truth.

So I did, I told them the whole truth of me sneaking down and letting go the girl after the sirens went off.

They stood there completely shocked for about 3 minutes.

Chase was the next to speak, "Wait, you mean that if the Circle finds out, we're all dead people. Right?"

I shrugged, "Depends on how you look at it. Think of it this way, if the Circle finds out then we'll tell them we went on the mission to find the girl for them."

I tapped my foot impatiently, if there was one thing I hated, it was waiting.

"So what do you say?" Silence.

I smirked, "I'll take that as a yes from all of you."

I grabbed my backpack from the ground and continued walking, "Follow me."

I should probably explain where I am and what's happening here, shouldn't I?

Okay here it is, after we kidnapped all these guys, we drove until we reached upstream, right before the waterfall. From here we would drive to the highway and well, I don't exactly have a plan after that.

No, wait yes I do.

The plan was to find this Cameron Morgan chick. Jonas had found only one thing about her, and it was that she went to the Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women. It's not a school I recognize, but maybe I've heard of it.

And so a few hours later, I found myself in an old Blackthorne Van with other boys that I just so happened to sneak out of a highly protected facility.

"So where exactly are we going?" Max Rears asked.

"The Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women," Jonas called from the front seat.

"Where's that?" Wesley Brant asked.

"Screw that; does it have girls?" Gabe Farce asked.

"No, because Exceptional Young Women really means a bunch of cross dressers," Alex James sarcastically answered.

"Wouldn't you know?" Jonas retorted.

I saw Alex smirk, "Try to control yourself Jonas, wouldn't want anyone knowing your big secret, do you?"

Normally I would have laughed at anyone making fun of Jonas, but that actually wasn't the biggest thing on my mind right now.

No, I was looking out the window and sure enough I saw the manicured lawns and high gates and new what kind of school this was.

This school was for rich, prissy sluts that had were shipped off to boarding school, not that I could really blame their parents for doing that.

Then a though popped into my head.

Something I have known forever, but only just now put together.

My mom was a Gallagher Girl.

The Gallagher Academy was a school for spies.

And that means that this Cameron girl, was a spy.

But here's the really interesting part.

My "friends" and I were planning on breaking into a spy school.

But when I saw the helicopter landing on the launch pad, I knew that breaking in wouldn't be a problem.

Getting caught would be.

Because just as 15 girls walked out of the helicopter, I saw a man walk out.

And that man just so happened to be Joe Solomon.

And that Joe Solomon just so happened to be talking to the Cameron Morgan we were looking for.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay so I wanna take a moment to address a review that was left, regarding my language. I want to apologize to Dancing in the Rain (or whoever else) was offended by my language in my AN. **

**Believe me guys, I wasn't trying to offend you. I actually take those words as a friendly term and so if I call you a "bitch" I'm really calling you a good friend. I'm sorry for any confusion or hurt feeling or anything else really.  
><strong>

**And I also wanna point out that this girl was totally chill about it. I mean she wasn't rude or mean. So I really appreciate that and I'll definetly stop cursing in the A/N.  
><strong>

**Lots of Love,  
><strong>

**Danie  
><strong>


	13. Chapter 13: Step Two

CHAPTER 13: STEP TWO

Step 2 was easy.

Easy in Concept, that is.

Break in and get her.

Simple right? No, of course not. You know why? Cause this was a spy school.

My head ran a million different scenarios and ideas, but I was blank.

I was crazy; I had to be crazy to try this.

Then the thought hit me.

"Oh no, he's got that look on his face," Grayson whispered, obviously talking about me.

"What look? I don't see a look." Grant said.

"That's cause his back is towards you, dumbass," Alex snapped.

"Zach, what are you thinking?" Chase asked.

I breathed in my idea and I knew this plan had to be flawless. I turned around to face all of them.

"A distraction. We need a distraction."

"What kind of distraction?" Jonas asked.

Sometimes I wondered how some of them got into Blackthorne. I had a cruel and evil plan.

That had to be something I inherited from my mother. I suppressed a smile.

"Think about it guys, we're dudes. And we're at an all-girls school."

"Wait-wait-wait, back up. This is an all-girls school?" Wesley asked.

Alex rolled his eyes and sarcastically answered, "No it's called the Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women to trick dumb bastards like us."

Meanwhile, the rest of the group was starting to piece together my idea. Surprisingly, Grant was the first one to speak, "You're one cruel bastard; you know that right?"

I smirked, "It's one of my best attributes." I heard snickers among the group.

"I'm not following," Nick said looking confused.

I heard Grant sigh, "He's gonna make us go in there and distract the girls while he goes in and gets that Cameron chick."

And that's how 10 minutes later I heard Sean, Grant, Brandon, Dave, Liam, and Gabe walking into the main hall. After all, if we wanted the girls to fawn all over them, we needed to pick the most attractive guys of the group.

I crawled on my knees in what had to be the smallest air duck ever created.

"Why the fuck is this so small?" Henry groaned behind me.

Through my comms, I heard Jonas quickly typing on his computer with Dylan as they attacked Gallagher's firewalls.

I had told Alex, Chase, Xavier , Wesley, and Ethan to stand watch around Gallagher's high stone walls.

Nick, Marco, Ryan, Max, and Grayson were outside the Grand Hall ready to take out anyone who tried to interfere with our plan and to lock the doors after the boys got out.

It was meant to be dinner time, but Cameron Morgan had a tendency to wander the school's passageways.

"I found her!" Jonas spoke into my comms.

From behind me I heard Henry speaking, "Where is she?"

"She's actually in the corridor behind you. She's about to come out; get her then."

It wasn't long before we found ourselves outside the entrance to the secret passageway.

She was quiet, I'll give her that. I almost didn't hear her, but then again I'm assassin.

I don't even think she got a full breath in when Henry came out behind her and put a cloth on her mouth and nose.

I could hear Jonas giving instructions as he lead 6 Blackthorne Boys straight into the lion's den (i.e. the Grand Hall)

And considering the fact that in about 45 seconds they're gonna have to run for lives, made this thing kind of fun.

I heard Chase report the silent conditions outside. I heard the gasps from the Gallagher Girls as the boys walked in. I heard Dylan typing.

But those are just things I heard. All I could process were those eyes.

I stood in front of Henry and Cameron. I watched her struggle and move around, but she had no such luck of getting out of Henry's grip. I watched the panic in her eyes, the cry for help.

I watched her eyes change from a light green to a Caribbean blue.

And I watched her eyelids drop, along with the rest of her body.

The rest is a blur.

I remember running down the hallway, with the girl in my arms. I remember hearing Jonas yelling at the boys to run. I heard Grayson lock the doors to the Grand Hall when the other six had left. I heard so many things.

They say that when you die, the last sense you lose is your hearing. And right now all I could to do was hear.

Then I started to lose my hearing as well, until I could only here were incoherent noises.

I didn't even realize I was in the van until Chase gripped my shoulder. He said something to me, but I didn't hear him. I nodded my head and hoped that would work as an answer.

I felt like I was in a daze, or asleep, or drunk. It wasn't something I ever felt before. Then I thought back to the time when Joe had saved me from Jonas at the beginning of this story. I asked him how he was, and he answered, "In Love."

I remember the dazed look in his eyes, the strange note that crept into his voice. Everything started coming back to me, when all I could hear were words of people I used to know.

"Killers always pay a price," Dr. Kim, my covert operations teacher, said.

"The worst thing an assassin can do is fall in love," Joe said.

"Run," Jesse said with his dying breath.

"He killed him," my mother said.

And then I remembered the eyes that had stared back at me through the bush in that horrid park. I remember the color I saw before I ran away.

I looked back at the girl.

Then at last the words crossed my mind.

"Matthew Morgan. Matthew Morgan killed your brother."

And then nothing but darkness.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, everyone I need your help.<strong>

**I was thinking about starting a new story. It's gonna be based off some of Taylor Swift's song, but it's not gonna be a song fic. Like it's actually gonna be a story. So please tell me what you'd think and if you'd be interested in it.  
><strong>

**Thanks,**

**Danie :)**


	14. Chapter 14: Guilt

CHAPTER 14: GUILT

I tried to keep my mouth closed, I tried to control my breathing, but it didn't work. I let go of my breath and let the sobs shake my body.

I curled helplessly into a ball as I waited for the tears to run dry. I hadn't even bothered to take out my knife. There was no use anymore.

I used to think that by cutting I was saying something; it was like my cry for help. I wanted; no I needed someone to hand me love.

But I'm done shouting if no one's gonna listen. I would try to kill myself, but I'm too much of a coward. I don't want anyone to waste time on finding my body or anything like that. I just don't want them to waste their time on me.

I think I felt guilt. I felt so guilty for everything, like it was my fault that the Circle destroyed everyone's lives. But it wasn't like that. I knew it wasn't.

But why did I still have the empty feeling growing in me, slowly sinking me in this abyss we call life?

I was there when Jesse died, I had seen fall and disappear. He was too young to die. He was only sixteen. He didn't know what he was doing.

My eyes started getting burly as another sob took hold of me. I could feel the tears gently landing on my hands.

But here's the real thing I hate about that story, it's that I ran. I could have saved him. But I didn't.

No, I decided to stand there until my intuition kicked in and I ran from danger. Until I found myself climbing back into my bedroom window trying to process what had just happened.

"Run." That was Jesse's last word.

That was my only consolation. That I had done what he wanted me to do.

But I much rather be rebellious and still have him, than obedient and without him.

Honestly, I'd give anything to still have him.

That's when the tears came naturally and I bet that not even God Almighty could stop them now.

I felt myself slowing sinking.

I was drowning. I wouldn't make it much farther than this. I was too weak.

Two hours later the tears had dried and the emotions had disappeared.

I walked away from the deserted forest and back to the group. Chase was the first one to come to me.

"She's awake."

That was all he said, and with that he disappeared to do God knows what.

I walked to Cameron Morgan's tent, where she was supposed to be unconscious.

When I walked in she was, in fact, awake and as soon as she processed me, she started asking questions like: Where am I? Who are you? And a bunch of other questions you ask when you get kidnapped. I sighed and let her finish asking her questions.

After she realized that I was going to answer absolutely none of them, she gave me her full attention.

"Do you know a Sam Pine?" I asked in a bored tone.

"What do you know about Sam? What did you do to her?!" and then she tried to lunge at me. Thankfully the other boys had thought to put restraints on her.

After she calmed down (again), I began speaking (again).

"A few weeks ago I let her out of a Circle Base and now I want to find her. I know you know her and you're gonna help us find her or else."

And then I walked out.

Now I bet you weren't expecting this, but I actually was freaking out on the inside. I mean the last time I spoke to someone of the female gender was my mother. And that on its own is a failure.

I was also freaking out because her dad killed my brother. I mean, when I put those two together, I fainted in the van and I woke up 10 minutes later, surrounded by a bunch of concerned Blackthorne Boys.

But now I walked out of the ten and almost bumped into Blackthorne Boys again.

I walked briskly through the guys and tried to go back to the forest. Key word: tried.

"You didn't really think that would work, did you?" I abruptly turned around and watched in complete shock as Cameron Morgan walked out of the tent, restraints gone.

I crossed my arms over my chest and put on my cover. "No, but I thought I'd give it a shot."

She made a face, like I had just repulsed her. Although that's the reaction I get from most girls life. The others don't even notice I'm there.

She put her hands on her hips and said, "Don't try that, smartass. Now why do you want to find Sam Morgan?"

"What I'm not allowed to look for the well-being of others?" I said sarcasm in my voice.

"No, not when it's not someone you know. In fact, it's creepy."

"Aww, you hurt my feelings. Now shut up and tell us what you know so we can take you back to the princess academy and then we all can just go back to the way things were, hmm?" I raised my eyebrows as I said this.

I turned around and started to make my way back to the forest when I heard her call, "You don't know anything about her!"

Without facing her I shouted, "Well that's why you're here!"

"You're nothing but an assassin! A Murder! That's what you all are!" She shouted to the earth.

I turned around and walked straight towards her and grabbed her arm so she would look me in the eyes. "Just like I know nothing about Sam, you know nothing about me. And if I were you I'd be careful because I have a reason to hate you."

"What reason?" she challenged.

"I don't know, ask your father." I said venom lacing my voice.

She met me at my level, "He's missing."

"Good" I smirked dropping her hand, and then I walked away leaving 19 Blackthorne Boys and 1 Gallagher Girl in shock.

Back on the rock where I had cried my eyes out 2 hours and 10 minutes ago, I thought about what my mother had told me.

"Don't worry Zach. I'll make sure they pay."

My head fell into my hands.

Great, more guilt to place on my shoulders.

And then it hit me, the real reason I was looking for this Sam girl. It was an apology, in a way. If I could get her back then I wouldn't feel that bad. After all, this Cameron girl had lost her father. If I could give Sam back to her, then maybe she won't hate me as much.

**How was that?**

**Again I'd like your impute on a new story I'm thinking of writing. It's gonna be based off various songs from Taylor Swift's new album Red (OMG has anyone heard that yet?) and yea...**

**It's mainly about Cammie feeling like she's losing Zach and this whole interior struggle with herself. So if you like the idea, please tell me review or PM me or something.  
><strong>

**Okay that's about it...  
><strong>

**OH WAIT I HAVE A TWITTER!  
><strong>

**so it's called smileforlovenow. You can follow, it's not protected or anything and I follow back so yea check that out.  
><strong>

**Lots of Love,  
><strong>

**Danie  
><strong>


	15. Chapter 15: The Note

CHAPTER 15: THE NOTE

"Okay this is easy, if you were a crazy girl being followed by the Circle, where would you hide?" Chase asked out loud, although he was asking himself.

I shrugged and called over my shoulder to the tied up girl behind me, "Cameron, where would you hide? Oh wait, you can't answer that question, because there's duct tape over your mouth." I felt a sadistic smile forming on my face as a turned around to the struggling girl. The rope held her close to the metal chair and a bit of duct tape kept her mouth shut.

"Zach, you're an asshole, you know that right?" Jonas said with a bored expression on his face, after all it was my idea to hog tie Miss. Morgan down.

"This is going nowhere fast, we'll be stuck here all night," Gabe complained.

"Shut your face, Chinatown. Your complaining isn't helping anybody."

Leave it to Macro Lopez to be racist at a time like this.

"Hey Macro, why don't you go help your cousins cross the border?" Gabe retorted, and then Macro lunged at Gabe. I saw Cameron roll her eyes at the two boys who were fighting on the ground.

"I agree," I said to her. I walked up to her and gently pulled the duct tape off her mouth.

"If you got anything helpful to say, I recommend saying it now," I ordered.

She took a deep breath as if deciding whether or not she wanted to help us. "Rome. She's always wanted to go to Rome."

"That's it? We're gonna fly all the way to Rome, just because this chick always wanted to go there?" Grant asked, clearly pissed.

"You have a better idea?" Cameron asked.

The silence that followed that was deafening.

"Pack your shit, the longer we wait, the easier it'll be for the Circle to find us," I said however I was interrupted by the lovely Cameron Morgan.

"Wait the Circle is following you? And they haven't caught you yet?" She asked clearly skeptical that we were spies. Well, technically we are assassins, but you get what I'm saying.

I didn't even bother answering; I just left to pack the little amount of things I brought with me.

Rome.

I haven't been to Rome since Jesse decided to take me on vacation there. We went a month before he died. There are so many beautiful memories in Rome, but now it seems like all those memories are haunted.

It wasn't long before I found myself in Jonas' private jet on our way to Rome; you got to love having rich friends.

Unfortunately I was stuck on "Cameron Duty" and she kept giving me the stink eye.

She was tied into the jet's chair and I was on her right.

Finally, I decided to start a conversation with her. No doubt it would be awkward as hell, but it was worth the try.

"So, what exactly did the Circle do to you?" I started; I kept biting my lip as if she was going to slap me across the face any minute, even though she was tied to the chair.

"Why do you care?" she responded, venom in her voice.

"Why does anyone care about anyone else?" It sounded like a pretty good answer to me, but not to her.

"So you're answering my question with a question?" she cocked her head to the side and I couldn't help notice the faint outline of a bruise on her forehead.

"Aren't you answering my question with a question?" I retorted, I saw a faint smile form across her lips.

"You win," she said and then turned her head.

Remember how I said this was going to be awkward as hell, well it was.

I kept opening my mouth as if I was going to say something, but no words crossed my mind.

But here's the best thing about words, you don't need to use a lot for it to mean a lot.

"When did you find out?" I whispered gently, as if she would break any second, and I had a feeling that she just might.

"Find out what?" she asked, but I could tell by the tone of her voice that she knew exactly what I was talking about.

"About your father, when did you find out he was missing?"

She kept staring at her feet and even though her voice didn't crack, I could hear her pain.

"Sixth grade, right before I got shipped off to the Gallagher Academy."

Sixth grade.

In sixth grade I was already in Blackthorne, learning what the Circle really did.

She was twelve, I was twelve.

She was too young, she was a kid.

She's still is a kid, and so am I.

We're all kids here, and we're trying to go on some stupid mission to find out where this girl is. It just didn't seem worth it anymore. I swear that when she told me sixth grade I was about to give up, I was about to call it quits.

Go home and endure the wrath of my mother, but then suddenly everything changed.

Cameron cleared her throat to get my attention again, "Before Sam went missing, she gave me something. She had called me and told me that she had something important to tell me. She told me that her cover was compromised. She told me she'd send someone to deliver her message."

I asked quickly, "What did she want to tell you? Who did she send? We can probably track them. We can-" I didn't get to finish my thought though, because she cut me off.

"I don't know who she sent; all I found was a small envelope on my dresser a day later."

I raised my eyebrows, "What did it say?"

She shook her head, "I don't know I never had the courage to open it. The day you kidnapped me I was going into that secret passageway to open it, but I got scared and decided to head to dinner."

I lowered my voice, "Do you have it with you?"

She nodded.

"Where is it?"

"In my left pocket," she told me.

I reached my arm around her back and pulled a small piece of paper from her left pocket.

"Can I open it?" I asked her.

She nodded her head again.

I opened the envelope and pulled a scrap of paper from it. And on the paper was a name in a sloppy handwriting.

_Jesse Goode_

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, I know I missed two weeks but I have a valid reason. I live in New Jersey, and for those of you not aware we had Hurricane Sandy take a massive shit on us (pardon my french). So I didn't have any power for the last two weeks. So I'll probably will post the next chapter tomorrow and another one on Thursday. :)<br>**

**Okay guys don't forget to follow my twitter smileforlovenow and yea, that's it.  
><strong>

**If you live on the east coast I hope you and your family are safe and sound.  
><strong>

**Danie  
><strong>


	16. Chapter 16: Finding the Asset

CHAPTER 16: FINDING THE ASSET

I had called an emergency meeting in the back of the jet, and I was pacing until Chase came up to me and steadied my shoulders.

I actually have this terrible habit of pacing whenever shit gets complicated. All the other boys had already entered the room and they were sitting there watching me pace.

"Okay Zach, just tell us what happened. What did she say? Did she hurt you?" He asked shaking my shoulders, as if that would make words come back to my lips.

For the second time that day, I opened my mouth and no words came out. I finally decided to hand Chase the envelope Cameron had given me.

I could tell he was still confused when he opened the envelope and saw the name, "Jesse Goode? Why Jesse Goode?"

"Is that his mom?" I heard Grant whisper to Nick. But Chase didn't even hear him.

"How does she know about Jesse?" he asked me.

"Sam. Sam found out about Jesse." And that was all I needed to say, because Chase was already starting to connect the dots.

He plopped down in a chair, closed his eyes, and put his hands in what looked like a praying position. I rolled my eyes at his dramatic movements.

"So what do we do?" I asked leaning on the conference table next to me.

He opened his eyes and shook his head, "I don't- I just don't know."

The other boys kept looking around, completely and utterly confused.

But then suddenly it occurred to me that I'd have to tell them about Jesse. And a part of me wanted to keep Jesse a secret. I wanted to hold him in my heart, only mine.

I walked quickly out of the room and sat myself in one of the jet's many seats. I felt a hand touch my shoulder.

"You have to let him go, Zach." Chase soft words echoed in my heart.

I felt a tear rimming my eye, and I felt my heart break as it slowly fell down my cheek. I needed to let go, I told myself. But somehow I knew that I had to hold on to him as much as possible.

Like his memory was all I had left of him.

"We're gonna have to tell them, you know. We can't just keep them in the dark." Chase's voice brought me back to Earth. But even out of this world I would have refused telling the other guys about Jesse, so I shook my head.

"It's their lives too." That did it.

"Tell them," I whispered. I heard his footsteps fade away.

Breathing seemed harder every second that passed.

I was losing my cover, that's all I could think about.

A silent airplane ride later, we had arrived at Rome. I tried to keep a straight face, but every time I looked over at a Blackthorne Boy, I felt like they could see straight through me. It was absolute torture.

"So you gonna take these ropes off of me yet?" I rolled my eyes at Cameron. I was happy to realize that no one was even paying attention to her.

Chase was the only who could speak to me, so he did. "Okay, Zach, you've been here before, right?" I nodded, "Then tell us the nearest Circle Base?"

I shook my head, "We wouldn't be able to get in, too much security, especially here. Plus, why start at a Circle Base? We already know she was wanted to come here. So Cameron, why don't _you_ tell us why you brought us here?"

The look on her face was priceless. She looked caught.

Wait, let me explain. You didn't really think I'd bring us all the way to Rome just for fun? Of course not, I saw it in her eyes. She lied. There's a reason why she brought us here. A reason I hadn't figured out, and that's why I was flat out asking her.

She looked lost on words, until finally she gave up trying to form lies. She finally decided to tell the truth. "This is where she went missing, her last mission. I want to try to find her asset. She said she was going here to find someone who could give her answers."

"Then we find the asset," Jonas said confidently.

I was going to make a sarcastic remark, however Alex beat me to it. "Yea, sure that'll be easy. We'll just every person in Rome if they know a Sam Pine."

Ignoring the remarks and snickers, I turned to Cameron, "Did she tell you anything else?"

She shook her head.

Crap, we have no lead.

"Alright, alright, let's not panic, we can find a way to figure this out," Nick said.

"What we need is someone who knows a lot of people," Sean said out loud.

"Someone popular, but not popular enough to get caught," Henry added.

I thought about all the people I have ever known, ever seen. But not one of them could possible know that many people.

And then it hit me, I just needed someone who knew about Jesse.

Whatever Sam found out, Jesse was also involved. Whoever she had met in Rome, they knew Jesse.

And a lot of spies knew about Jesse, he was after all a legend.

But only one knew all of Jesse well enough, to know his missions. This person knew more about Jesse than I did. But there was just one problem.

He had gone missing years ago, and I wasn't going to go on another search party for the ex-leader of the Circle of Caven.

I sighed, there had to be someone else. And then it hit me, the only person who could help me would make fun of me if I went to them.

Son of a bitch, I was actually going to have to do this.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry guys that I didn't post yesterday, but I remembered that I had a chem test to study for us I didn't really have time too. The nest chapter I'll put up on Friday.<strong>

**Danie  
><strong>


	17. Chapter 17: Underneath

CHAPTER 17: UNDERNEATH

Dr. Kal was a man with a reputation. He was feared among many, and loved among others. Every good spy has encountered this man. If you're not exceptional then you don't know who I'm talking about.

This was the kind of man who made his own rules, and flexed the government rules when he needed to. He was intelligent, but half of his work was his charm. He was known for his charm. He was also known for make risky deals with people. He was the kind of spy children wanted to be. He was a Russian James Bond.

He was dangerous and lethal.

But most of all, he could love.

I had first encountered Dr. Kal a few years back on a mission in Paraguay. He told me that he used to know my brother and in fact they were really close. Dare I say, Dr. Kal knew Jesse better than I did.

If Dr. Kal is your friend, you shouldn't be scared of him. But he does have this dangerous atmosphere that makes me walk away whenever I see him. Whenever he was around, there was a thick, dark cloud in the air and if you couldn't hold your breath, you would drown.

He was complicated.

But he was also the only one who could get me anywhere.

"Dr. Kal. Jonas, look for a Dr. Kal." I ordered.

"Wait, why? Who is he?" Jonas stuttered.

"Just look for him, he might be the asset," I ordered.

"Don't bother looking for me kids."

I turned around to be face to face with Dr. Kal.

The other boys and Cameron were confused as hell.

"Hello, kids. Let me introduce myself. My name is Dr. Kal. Zachary, I hear you're looking for me, can I ask why?"

I swallowed the bump that was forming in my throat and stated to speak, "Can I ask you, Dr. Kal, why you wanted to meet Sam Pine?"

He raised his eyebrows, "You know the girl?"

"Yes," I answered and I just hoped that my lying had gotten better or else I'd be screwed.

"I'm sorry but I can't tell you anything else," he said to me, then turned to everyone else, "Goodbye children." He started walking away

"No, Dr. Kal, wait!"

He immediately turned around; enjoying the leverage he had over me. I knew this was gonna happen.

"Yes, Zachary," he feigned innocence, "Do you need something of me? Do you need my help?" The tone in his voice was so vicious, so manipulative; it made me sick.

I felt my throat go dry, "I need to find her, Dr. Kal. She's knows about Jesse." I swallowed what seemed to be rocks in my throat.

I let out a shaky breath.

He sighed, knowing he wouldn't be able to resist.

"20045 89310"

And just as he was walking away I muttered a "Thank You." And although he didn't acknowledge it, he heard me.

I could feel the eyes of the boys and Cameron on me.

"So what do these numbers mean?" Henry asked out loud.

"Maybe it's a code or something…"

I could hear the murmurs of the other boys trying to find the solution.

But it didn't matter; I could already hear my footsteps against the stones on the Roman ground.

Let me explain.

Each circle base has a particular number. It's a classification. Identification, if you will. The number told you things like where it is, what services it offers, or what kind of base it is.

And do you know what the best part is?

I knew this base. And I knew where she was.

Samantha never left Rome. She was still here; in fact right now she's was underneath us.

"Zach, where are you going?" Chase called behind me, starting to jog to where I was. I could hear the others following.

Finally Chase caught up to me.

"Where are you going?"

"She's here. In the Roman Base. She's here."

"Wait what?"

I made a swift turn and looked at Chase, "The code Dr. Kal gave. She's in the Roman Circle Base."

He looked shocked, and then started to smile. "That's great, where is it?"

"Under us."

"Under? Like in the sewage?" he asked, eyes starting to go wide.

"No, under the sewage," I said.

"Wait, how do you get there?" He asked, obviously confused.

I felt the others finally catch up with me and Chase.

"Where are you going?" Cameron asked.

"Samantha's in the Rome Circle Base," Chase explained.

Jonas' face lightened, "Cool, where is it?"

"Under us," Chase said.

"What?" That was the general response from everyone else.

There was a silence as they tried to process the words that came out of Chase's mouth.

"Wait Zach, how do we get there?" Chase asked me again.

"The entrance," I said sarcastically.

Grayson got ahead of me, and stopped me.

He held on to my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye, "Zach, where are we going?"

I tried kept a straight face as I said, "The Vatican."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry, I haven't been updating recently. I had a lot of shit going on. Actually I just finished a debate in history where I was shaking for my dear life. the only good thing is that they won't go against what i said because I was shaking. And no one at my school is that cruel. <strong>**  
><strong>

**Whatever, I still have some debate left. I'll see you all next monday.  
><strong>

**Danie**


	18. Chapter 18: Similarities

CHAPTER 18: SIMILARITIES

"We're going to hell," Liam kept telling himself.

We were currently planning a way to sneak into the Vatican.

"What kind of a sick mind builds a terrorist organization underneath the most holy building ever made?" Liam asked.

Now Liam was very Christian, but I'm not going to lie, I didn't even want to break into the Vatican.

That kind of thing gets you a first class ticket to hell.

But I really wasn't playing attention to that at all. I heard my 'friends' plan a way to break into the Vatican.

But what I really wanted to do was cut. I could feel the scars on my arm itching. I needed to cut. I was rubbing my scars through my long-sleeved shirt. I felt I dying hunger to cut. Damn, I couldn't even think straight. It was like an addiction.

Abruptly I spoke, "I need air."

All the boys (and Cameron) looked at me like I was crazy.

But I just shrugged and said, "It's hot in here."

Since they still continued to look at me like I was crazy, I just grabbed my jacket and walked out the room.

The fresh air felt amazing after walking out of that stuffy hotel.

I could finally breathe. And more importantly, I could finally cut.

I walked through the busy streets of Rome. The stone paths, the little shops, the Italian accents; they were all so refreshing.

I slipped my hands into my pockets and enjoyed the sweet sound of being invisible. It was easy to get lost in the crowd, to become no one instead of nothing.

It wasn't long before I found myself in an isolated alley, behind a store that was long out of business.

It was completely and utterly isolated. I sat down on the ground and closed my eyes.

It felt good to get away from everyone else.

I took out my knife, flipped it open. My hands were trembling in anticipation.

The old cuts on my arm had almost healed. Time to change that.

I pulled my sleeve higher.

One time I didn't pull my sleeve high enough and I got blood all over my sleeve. I had to tell Chase that I got an immense paper cut. I'm not sure if he believed me, but it was worth a shot. But, hey, you can't make the same mistake twice, right?

I was ready to enter a whole new world when a voice pulled me out of my fantasy.

"I knew you were hiding something."

I looked up, only to be faced with the one and only Cameron Morgan.

I gulped; suddenly my throat was made of sand. Words were jumbled in my mouth. It was different when Grayson found out, he was new and he was a stranger. And even Alex, he was also a cutter.

I kind of knew her. And I knew she hated me. God, she hated me. And now she had leverage.

And just like that, I felt my wits come back.

I got up, pulled my sleeve down and slipped my knife into my pocket. I shrugged, "Not everything's what it seems." And now I decided to get cocky, "And here I thought you would know that", I sighed as if I cared, "But I guess not."

I started walking away, when her hand stopped me.

She held my gaze.

And then she rolled her sleeve up, and right there was her very own scars.

Words were a foreign concept now. Nothing came into my head; it was like Grant's brain, completely, and utterly empty.

Cameron. A cutter.

And then the worst possible thing happened to me.

Cameron kissed me.

And I'm talking full lips on lips, she even closed her eyes. She didn't touch me or hold on to me or anything and that's probably why I did what I did.

I ran.

* * *

><p><strong>BAAAMMM!<strong>

**Okay you all probably really hate me right now :)  
><strong>

**I know it was really short, considering how much time it took for me to right it.  
><strong>

**But it was a hard scene to write and stuff so yea...  
><strong>

**Okay, that's all.  
><strong>

**So this story is gonna pick up a lot in the next chapter so prepare yourself.  
><strong>

**Danie  
><strong>


	19. Chapter 19: The Files

**OKAY GUYS ITS FUCKING OFFICIAL.**

**I'M A FUCKING IDIOT. **

**So I accidentally posted "Happy Kwanza Bitch" as chapter 19, when its supposed to be its own one-shot. **

**Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry if you guys were confused and thank you to Plain-Is-Prettiest who unknowingly made me aware of this.**

* * *

><p>CHAPTER 19: THE FILES<p>

'Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!'

Those were the only words that went through my head.

I'm sure you'd be thinking the same thing, if a girl, a girl you'd only just met, decided to kiss you.

I was walking back to the hotel, trembling, just thinking what would happen next. Would she pretend it never happened? Would she act like my girlfriend? Or would she kiss me again?

A shiver ran through my body just thinking about it.

'Focus Zach focus.' I had a lot at stake right now and dealing with the female gender wasn't something I wanted deal with right now.

I needed to find out what Sam knew about my brother. Yup, I just needed to concentrate on that.

The Roman Base. Okay, now how the hell do I get in there?

There's too much security. And going in there alone would be too reckless.

But I wouldn't be able to sneak in anyone else.

There was only one option. So as crazy as it was, I was going in alone.

A few hours later I found myself standing in the Vatican.

I'll let you know that Church scare the cap out of me. They're large and hauntingly beautiful. I always feel out of place walking into a church. I'm a sinner amongst the holy.

Nonetheless, I let my feet wander, and sooner or later I found myself in what might have been an abandoned tunnel, of a sort. Don't even ask how I got there, it's a long story.

It didn't take long for me find the entrance of the Circle Base. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of a sick bastard made a terrorist organization underneath the Vatican.

I knew where I wanted to go. And although I had no other choice, I was still dreading having to go to my mother's office.

Now to face the devil.

But as I was crawling into my mother's office, I entered the office to see a terrified Samantha Pine looking through my mother's desk. And just as I had spotted her, I heard the lock on the door turning.

I was quick to take Samantha, and some of the papers she was holding, and rush us into the air vent I had entered in.

One quick and successful escape later, I sat in a crowed café with Samantha directly across from me.

She opened her mouth, probably to say something about the weather, but I cut her off.

"Explain," I demanded.

She had a loss of words, opening her mouth and closing it again, before she decided to tell me the truth.

"I snuck into the Roman Base to find out about Jesse Goode." She eyed me warily, "And I know he's your brother."

I thought through my next words carefully before speaking, "What did you find?"

"I haven't looked yet," she said, glancing at the manila folders she took from my mother's office.

I bit my lip, "What do you think you'll find?"

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "Enough."

I raised my eyebrows, but she didn't say anything else. She opened the manila slowly, and I held my breath.

The next the few minutes were agonizing. At some point my hand started trembling, and now I couldn't stop.

She sucked in a breath, closed her eyes, and pinched her fingers at the bridge of her nose.

"I knew it," she cursed under her breath. I raised my eyebrows, motioning for her to explain. She gulped. "When I was 6, I was kidnapped from my family."

"The Circle?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

She rolled her eyes, "It was Jesse. Who else?"

I crossed my arms, "Do you know who your family is?"

She cocked her head to the side, snickering "I had a guess."

I brought my coffee to my lips as she continued.

"It's the Morgan's."

I nodded my head, before it clicked.

_Cameron Morgan. _

I choked on my coffee.

"There's something else," she murmured, her eyes still locked on the folder and the secrets it held.

"What?" I whispered.

She looked up, "He's gone. Jesse Goode is gone."

"He's dead," I said coldly.

She glanced back at the file and slowly shook her head.

"I watched him die," I snapped almost forgetting we were in a public place. And this is not the kind of thing you want people to hear.

She shook her head again, "Something's wrong."

"He's dead."

"Something's missing. This doesn't add up."

I sighed dramatically, rolling my eyes. "What don't you understand? He died. I watched him die. They found the body the next day."

She shook her head (yet again), but this time with more determination. "Look here," she said pointing to the second to last date, "On January 28, Jesse Goode left for a mission in Bangkok."

I nodded my head slowly, "I know." Damn, she doesn't understand the concept of death, does she?

"And look here, in the next entry they found his body. But they never declared him dead. They declared him missing. And they have no report of his last operation. But they found his body over a thousand miles away."

That snapped my attention. I snatched the file and read the fine print. So many questions swan through my mind.

And then my mind focused on the little scribble on the bottom of the paper. I could hardly read it. But I could make out two words.

The Courtyard.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry guys,<strong>

**Danie**


	20. Chapter 20: Roma

CHAPTER 20: ROMA

"Zach, you got to believe me!" I heard Samantha yell behind me.

I had run from the café long ago, and now I was running through the narrow, crowded streets of Rome.

I thought I was gonna be sick.

"Zach!" I walked faster, weaving through the tourists and every day citizens.

But through the people and landmarks, I could see them across the street. All of the guys and Cameron were there, surrounded by a wooden table.

They were all huddled, Chase and Grayson in the center, no doubt the head of this mission now. Great, now I had to get away from Samantha and the others.

Fuck.

I walked to my other friends; Samantha still hot on my trail. By the time I was two tables away from the guys, Samantha seemed two seconds behind me. But before she could get a hold of me, I spontaneously turned, pushing into a waiter of the restaurant. He, in turn, dropped two bowls of pasta on Samantha.

And not only did the waiter drop the pasta on Samantha, but also on Gabe Farce who had this back towards the waiter, immersed in a conversation.

I used this distraction to make a speedy escape from the scene. I heard apologies and shouts and other distant clamor before I found myself on another street.

The manila folder was still in my hands, lightly stained with marinara sauce from the incident before. My hands were still trembling.

But I had this growing feeling in my gut that something terrible was happening. And in my fear, I had stopped moving. I stood still in a crowd of moving, bustling people.

The world started moving in slow motion. I was aware of my surroundings, even though everything was all a blur.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. But I didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

"Grant," I stated and turned around to face him.

"We have to go," he said urgently, but I didn't make any attempt to move, "Zach, this is important, we _have_ to go."

The world silenced around me, and I whispered, "It's too late."

However, Grant was stronger than me and it cost him nothing to pull through the crowded streets. He tried to push us out of civilization. But I knew that was a bad idea. They would be waiting for us. And then they would get us.

If my calculations were correct, the others were probably already in chains. Oh God, this can't be happening.

Part of me wanted to make a run, hoping that maybe I could make it and get them back later.

But I didn't.

In fact, I let Grant drag to the abandoned outskirts; and then we waited. We waited until, slowly, Circle members emerged from behind dumpsters and buildings. We waited until we were completely surrounded by Circle members.

I saw terror creep into Grant's facial expression as Circle members surrounded us, holding the others captive. The guys, Cameron, and Samantha must have left the main city, thinking they would be safer out here.

They were wrong.

I saw some large men holding the others captive. I heard a man get Grant. The man eventually got Grant, no matter how hard Grant fought.

And I just stood there, watching, and more importantly analyzing.

There were 50 guards surrounding us, not to mention the ring leader who had his eyes set on me. Only 21 of those guards were holding someone captive.

So, the odds were not in our favor.

The manila remained in my hands and I felt the leader's eyes on it.

And that's when I realized who was leading this. Tony Aveda.

He stood in front of me, a puzzled look across his face.

I noticed that he hadn't recognized me yet. And better yet, he didn't know what horrifying secrets were in the folder.

So I did the one thing, I could.

I did the most characteristic "Goode" move I could pull off.

The smirk.

And just like that, everything snapped.

Suddenly Tony Aveda knew who he was dealing with; and he gulped before taking a step forward.

I watched as he took cautious steps towards me, no words in his mouth.

But he never got the chance to say anything.

No, because at that moment, dark figures emerged from everywhere. Circle members went down everywhere at the hands of the figures, but Tony Aveda went down at the mercy at my hands.

Had Tony Aveda not been so distracted by the attacking figures, he may have noticed how I came to him.

I felt like the whole day was just nightmare to nightmare. There was so much new information that swirled in my head that I found myself getting lost in the punches.

In fact, I think I might have killed him if Sean and Liam didn't pull me back.

The dark figures retreated to the darkness.

But that didn't change anything.

I felt numb.

Why? You ask?

Because less than a half an hour ago, I found out that my brother stole Samantha "Pine" as a baby from the Morgan family. And that Samantha and Cameron were not only sisters, but fraternal twins. And to add the cherry on top, Matthew Morgan killed my brother to retaliate.

And somehow my brother wasn't dead.

But none of that could have prepared me to see Joe Solomon run down the alleyway, a look of relief across his features.

And maybe if I hadn't stole Cameron, he'd be happy to see me; but right now, he looked hellapissed.

And maybe that's why I didn't see Chase fold a piece of paper and slide it into his pocket.

* * *

><p><strong>I wonder if anyone can guess the major plot twist that's coming in. Trust me, it's be worth it. <strong>

**I think we might have 10 or less chapters left, so yea the next chapters are gonna be crazy ones.**

**From the pits of hell,**

**Danie**

******************* Side Note:**

**So I just realized that Chapter 19, isn't really chapter 19, but "Happy Kwanza Bitch" and that's a different story.**

**I'm sorry guys, but if you haven't read the REAL chapter 19 then please do or you'll be very confused.**

**Love you guys, my apologies,**

**Danie**


	21. Chapter 21: Rapture

CHAPTER 21: RAPTURE

We were back in Blackthorne in matter of hours. I won't even mention the long annoying lecture I got from Joe.

I sat on the familiar rusty bench and flicked out the familiar blade and just stared at it.

I couldn't help but think that in a matter of weeks my life had turned from perfectly miserable to uncertainly confusing.

I sighed, tracing my fingers on the intricate details of the knife.

I smiled, still remembering the day I took it out of Dr. Steve's heavy box.

If I went to the Gallagher Academy, I would have gotten extra credit.

But I didn't go to Gallagher.

I went to Blackthorne.

I was a Blackthorne Boy.

I was meant to be strong and terrifying and all these other things.

But I was weak.

I've always known I was weak.

Look at me; I cut myself instead of dealing with my own problems.

It's like I'm trying to make a point, but no one's listening.

Because everyone else in the world has their own problems, and it was about time that I grew a pair of balls and dealt with my problems.

I won't do this anymore.

Not anymore.

I won't pity myself anyone.

I walked quickly to Dr. Steve's office, only one intention in mind.

I burst through his door, obviously interrupting an important meeting he was having with Dr. Kim, a member of the Circle.

"Zachary, are you alright?" Dr. Steve asked his fake genuine smile plastered on his face.

I shook my head, the anger only growing.

"I want you to tell you to tell my mother something," I stated.

"And what would that be?" Dr. Kim asked, finally joining the conversation.

I walked slowly to them, like a predator stalking its prey.

I cleared my throat and spoke with purposeful venom in my voice, "Tell my mother that I will never join the Circle. Tell her that I will not be like her, nor do I want to be. Tell her that I am done. Tell her that I will end this, for me and for everyone."

I watched as shock climbed into their facial expressions, before storming out.

I stormed into sophomore bunkers and pulled a backpack from underneath my bed. I packed my things as 95 other boys stared at me, also in complete shock.

After I had packed my things and stormed out of the bunkers. I heard Chase calling my name behind me.

"Zach, you need to see this!" he called.

I turned abruptly around, "What?" I snapped.

He pulled a wrinkled little piece of paper from his pocket and handed it me.

He said, "I found this paper when those 'things' helped us out with the Circle. I've been trying to figure out what it says, but so far I have nothing. I thought maybe you might know."

"Who's seen this?" I asked snapping again at him.

He flinched but spoke again, "All the guys and Samantha and Cameron. But no one's recognized it, or knows where it's from."

Although I hated the fact that he had told everyone else but me, but I knew that this was bigger than that.

I put the paper in my pocket, "Pack your things, tell the other guys too. We're leaving."

I started walking away to find a van to hot wire.

I heard Chase call behind me, "Wait, Zach, where are we going?"

But I didn't turn around, I kept walking and shouted over my shoulder, "We're gonna find the Courtyard. And we're gonna kick their asses."

An hour later I found myself miles away from the Blackthorne, the guys and the Morgan girls staring at me.

Since the van broke down an hour ago, we were walking silently through the woods.

I heard twigs snap and cursing. I turned around to see Jonas tangled in a tree root. I sighed, this was gonna be harder than I thought. I watched as the others struggled to set him free. After a minute, I had gotten frustrated by their stupidity and ended up walking over there and pulling out my knife to set him free.

"Thanks, man," I heard Jonas mutter when he was back on his feet again.

But no one paid attention to what he way saying because at that moment I head Samantha gasp and grab my wrist.

My blood pounded when I thought that she too had discovered my cutting.

But she wasn't paying attention to that.

Instead, she stared at the knife in my hands. I heard Grayson move towards her and wrap his arms around her shoulders. (I'll ask him about that later.)

"What's wrong, Sam?" he asked.

"Gray, it's the symbol on the knife," Samantha said, slightly trembling.

'Sam?' 'Gray?' Since when were they on the nickname bases? God dammit, we are on a mission, we don't have time for romances. Speaking of which, I wonder is Cameron is mad at me…

And then I processed Samantha's words. I looked down at my hands, seeing the knife in a different light.

"What's wrong with it, darling?" Grayson asked.

"It has the symbol of the Circle on it," she whispered before burying herself in Grayson's chest, and he wrapped his arms protectively around her.

"Zach, where did you get that knife?" Chase asked, although I could see that he was also curious about Grayson's and Samantha's relationship.

"Dr. Steve's vault," and then it hit like a ton of bricks.

Dr. Steve was in the Circle.

The sick bastard entered the heads of every student and made them join the Circle, every student but me.

"We need to find the Courtyard," I blurted.

"Wait what?" Henry asked.

I heard a deep chuckle behind me.

I turned around to find the dark figures emerging from the woods in slow motion.

I heard a man's voice ringing in my ear as the world started getting blurry.

"You don't find the Courtyard. The Courtyard finds you. Someone's been waiting for you for a long time, Zachary."

But I didn't hear anything else, because then the world turned black.

And all I could hear were Cameron's screams.

* * *

><p><strong>Guys, I literally just posted last night. I'm so proud of my self, two chapter in one week.<strong>

**That being said happy Friday!**

**I probably won't be able to update for a few weeks cause I have a huge midterm (it's more like a 3/4 term but whatever) and class recommendations are coming out and shit, so yea.**

**Please review, favorite, make it an alert, or whatever. Hearing what you have to say is always awesome.  
><strong>

**Thank guys, **

**Danie**


	22. Chapter 22: Visitor

CHAPTER 22: VISITORS

I felt myself being shaken awake. My eyes slowly adjusted to the dimly light room. I appeared to be on some sketchy cot, in some cozy room. I look over to my intruder, only to see a familiar pair of cyan blue eyes.

His light red hair and freckles brought me back to when my world was in one piece. And I could only lay there, on the bed, gasping for breath. I can only think what kind of twisted nightmare my head was giving me. This man, in front of me, was doing nothing to hurt me. He was crouched in front of me, with this waiting expression on his face, and I laid there, in shock.

The boy who haunted my dreams, my life, and my very existence was standing in front of me, as a man. I tried to open my mouth, but I was left speechless yet again. I heard him chuckle. And that's when this became a true nightmare.

I felt my breath pick up, and my heart was beating so fast I could feel it in my throat; and any reasonable thought in my head was long gone.

He gave me a soft smile and gave a soft, playful sigh, "Looks like you're the better looking son."

And just like that I was snapped out of my trance. I tried to close my hands around his neck, which he easily brushed off and held my hands down.

He gave me another weak smile. "I should probably explain myself, before you try to kill me again."

I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

"Well, don't just sit there Zach. Say something," he said, nudging my shoulder. And then when he realized that he wasn't going to get anything out of me he asked, "Anything? C'mon, Zach it's not that surprising."

_Not that surprising?_

"You're supposed to be dead," I said with so much conviction it shocked both of us.

"Yea, but I don't really like following the rules," he said slyly. He licked his thumb and tried to clean something on my forehead, but not before I swatted his hand away. "Ow, that hurt," he pouted.

But I wasn't having any of that.

"You know what else hurts," I said sarcasm and venom dripping in every word, "thinking that your brother is dead for 8 years."

He sighed, "I'm sorry kiddo, but to be fair I wasn't exactly conscious for 7 of those 8 years. And I spent my first year awake looking for you."

"Was I hard to find?"

"Well, it probably would have been easier if you didn't run off to Rome. What were you doing there anyways?" he asked.

"Zach, Zach, where are you?" I heard someone yell down the hall. I heard Chase running down the hall outside.

I heard Jesse sigh before getting up and heading towards the door, mumbling something along the lines of "I guess I should leave you two alone."

Chase came crashing into the room; a look of relief crossed his face, before he embraced me in an unwelcomed hug.

He pulled away with the biggest smile on his face.

"Thank God, you're awake. They hit you with a lot of chloroform didn't they?"

I nodded.

"Who was that?" he asked looking back at Jesse who left the door wide open.

I swallowed the lump forming in my chest, "No one."

"Okay," he said and nodded, still not believing me. And with a small, soft smile he left, leaving the door ajar to the world.

I heard lighter footsteps approach.

"Hi," Cameron said, nervously taking a step towards me. I got up from the bed, knowing how awkward it would be if I just stayed there on the bed.

She gave me a weak fake smile.

"What's wrong?" I asked, knowing that a girl like Cameron could pull off a better fake smile.

It was a while before she whispered, "He's alive."

I felt my hands getting sweaty as she voiced my thoughts, "My dad's alive." The brightest smile broke out onto her face, and I felt my heart clench.

I cleared my throat and stumbled on my words.

"I, uh, I just wanted to, um, apologize," I cleared my throat again but I could tell that it wasn't doing anything, "I wanted for apologize for, um, well just everything. Whatever I said or did, I'm sorry."

She stayed silent for a minute before the smile returned to her face, "Forgiven. I know you didn't mean to wish for my father's death."

I gave her my own weak smile and she returned it and said, "C'mon, someone here has been dying to see you."

"How long have I've been asleep?" I asked her and watched a dark shadow cross her face.

"42 hours." Wow, I was asleep for almost two days.

The warm smile returned to her face and she grabbed my hand and led me through mazes of hallways, but I didn't notice any. I didn't memorize the twists or turns, or count the tiles on the floor. I didn't notice any of those things.

All I could think about was how she held my hand.

* * *

><p><strong>I know, kind of a short chapter. I wrote it a few days ago but I forgot to put it up.<strong>

**Adorable ending right? Don't worry there will be more. :)**

**Let me know what you think, critique is welcome. **

**Love you guys,**

**Danie**


	23. Chapter 23: A Family Business

CHAPTER 23: A FAMILY BUSINESS

"Hey, look who's up and running again?" Grayson asked as Cameron and I walked into what looked like a living room.

The guys were scattered around, on couches and chairs. There were a few unfamiliar faces in the room, but no one was looking at my face.

Nope, everyone decided to look at our intertwined hands. I awkwardly pulled my hand away.

Thankfully, the attention of the room went to a man who entered the room. He emerged from a shadowy hallway, his footsteps resounding from the walls.

"Everybody leave," the deep voice from the shadows said, then added, "Except Zachary."

Slowly everyone disappeared from my sight, until only Jesse and the strange man remained. He looked over at the shadow man and then looked at me. He winked at me, his face revealing a knowing smile.

Finally he too left.

And there I was alone, with a complete stranger.

"I'm not a stranger," the man said as if he was reading my mind.

I gave him a perplexed look, but he continued nonetheless.

"You know," he said taking a deep breath, and I noticed that his voice started getting shaky.

It didn't help that I still couldn't see his face.

He cleared his throat and started again.

"You know, she never told me anything. It was only one night. I don't love her, in case you're wondering. But that shouldn't change anything, between us I mean. I-"

He continued talking but I cut him off, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Incoherent sounds came out of his throat before he finally decided to step outside of those damn shadows.

But the man who came out was an older version of me. An older version of me with blue eyes anyway.

And just like that all the pieces clicked. The knowing look in Jesse's eyes, the strange talk about my mother, and the fact that this guy looks like me from the future; it all clicked.

Tears stained his face, as a weak smile bloomed on his lips.

"Zachary," he started, but I shook my head no.

I had spent my whole life wondering why. Wondering why someone would be cruel enough to leave me to fend for myself. I didn't spend 16 years of my life trying to make it on my own, just to have my birth father to show up out of nowhere.

I had left him there, standing and I ignored his calls for me to come back. Through the twists and turns of the underground maze, I finally found an exit to the real world. But when I came outside, I was surprised to find Cameron sitting on a log in the middle of a forest. She motioned for me to sit with her.

"You knew I would come out here?" I asked not even trying to hide the surprise in my voice.

She shrugged and said, "It's what I would do."

I nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"Not really," I said dryly.

"That's not a good way to deal with it," she responded, shaking her head slightly.

"I don't want to deal with it," I told her truthfully.

She stayed silent, until I desperately asked her, "Cameron, how do I-"

"Cammie," she interrupted.

"What?" I asked, half dazed with my eyebrows knit together.

She swallowed, "You can call me Cammie. It's what my friends call me."

I felt my heart flutter and ache when she called indirectly called me her friend.

"Alright, Cammie, what do I do?"

She exhaled, "You give your father a chance to explain himself. I gave mine one, and now we're good. Give him a chance, he has his reasons. Same with your brother. Just let them explain."

A good minute of silence passed before I finally spoke up.

"How do you do it?" I asked.

"How do I do what?" she asked, clearly confused as hell.

I struggled with the words on my tongue, "How can you see the good in people? It's like you believe in everyone?"

She laughed, "It's because I'm a Gallagher Girl, and we're pretty awesome."

It was my turn to laugh, "Alright then, Gallagher Girl."

She cocked her head in disbelief, but a smile still graced her lips, "Is that my new nickname?"

My smile turned genuine and I slowly nodded my head, "It is."

A blush crept its way onto her cheeks and she quickly looked away. "You should talk to your dad, he must be getting worried."

I nodded, walking back to the entrance of the base and held the door open as I motioned for Cammie to walk in first. She smiled but before she walked into the base, I stopped her and whispered in her ear, "Ladies first."

I heard her breath hitch, and I prayed to Jesus that mine didn't.

An hour later I sat in the bedroom where I first woke up and tried to make sense of everything.

My "father" (I still wasn't comfortable with it) told me that he had seduced my mother for a mission and they didn't use protection and alas I was born. He never even knew I existed until he stumbled across Jesse 8 years ago. But he only found out I was his son a year ago, when Jesse woke up. He had confronted my mother, but she told him it wasn't true. Although a quick paternity test was made a few months back that proved I was his son.

I took Cammie's advice and gave him a chance, but I told him we start slow. He gave me cell phone in which he'd expect a call every two weeks. And that was the end of that.

Jesse however was a different story.

_*Flashback*_

_"Zach, things are kinda complicated," Jesse said as he took a seat in front of me._

_"I can take it."_

_He sighed but continued, "Just promise me, you'll listen to the whole story. Don't get up and leave. Hear me out, and then do as you please." _

_I nodded in agreement. _

_It took him 5 more deep breaths to start again, "Approximately 8 years and 2 months ago I went on a mission to Bangkok. I never came home from the mission Zach."_

_"What are you talking about? You came home early and we went to play soccer that night, the night you died."_

_"I was kidnapped Zach. I was kidnapped and they found someone who looked just like me to come back home."_

_The words were slowly processing in my head._

_He looked straight in my eyes, "The boy who was killed that night actually worked for the Circle. Zach I never really worked for the Circle. I've worked with the Courtyard before I even went to Blackthorne."_

_I shook my head in disbelief, "Why? Why would the Circle kidnap you?"_

_He grabbed onto my shoulders, "Because they found out I was two-timing them. They needed me out of the picture, but mother didn't want to hurt you!"_

_He squeezed my shoulders as he shouted, "They didn't know Matthew was going to try to kill me that night! They got so fucking lucky that they didn't have to explain my death! Zach they tricked you! They wanted 'fake me' to poison your mind! Don't you see Zach, Mom doesn't love me!"_

_He was violently shaking me now, "SHE DOESN'T LOVE ANYONE BUT HERSELF! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES SHE'S TRIED TO KILL HER OWN CHILDREN! SHE'S EVIL ZACH! EVIL!"_

_I stared in shock at his outburst and watched as he collected himself. _

_And of course his screaming had gotten everyone's attention. They all just stared. It felt like a nightmare._

_And silently my whisper broke the silence and tension in the room._

_"You think I didn't know that? Jesse, of course I know what she is. She didn't even come to your funeral."_

_He stared at me as if he were seeing me for the first time. _

_He stared at me like he wasn't seeing the innocent little boy I once was; and instead he stared at a scarred and damaged teenage boy._

_*Flashback Over*_

Jesse saw me in a new light now, and I couldn't help but be thankful for it. After all, I was one of the best teenage spies/assassins around. I had killed people before.

I heard light knocking on my door, "Come in," I said.

Cammie walked in and took a seat on my bed, "You did the right thing. You're going to give them both a chance right?" She asked with those hopeful blue-green eyes and I couldn't find it in me to say no.

"Yes, I will."

A smile broke out on her face and she threw her arms around me in a hug. I tensed, and she pulled away blushing, realizing what she had done.

But I couldn't stop the butterflies in stomach, and I had the feeling that I would never be able to stop them.

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><p><strong>Guys, I'm not even shitting you, this chapter was over 4 pages on word. I am very proud of myself.<br>**

**Guys, I know I haven't been around lately, and the truth is I'm trying to actually live me life, and I kinda enjoy it.**

**But since I'm on Spring Break, I've had a lot of time to right and I can say that I officially have finished the Burns! Yay! This is the third to last chapter and then there is gonna be an epilogue (which I'm writing later tonight)**

**:)**

**Anyways, I just wanted to let you guys know that after this I will continue with "What Strippers Do" and maybe even do a sequel for this story if people care enough. **

**Thank you for your support and love,**

**Forever Yours,**

**Danie**


	24. Chapter 24: Traitor

CHAPTER 24: TRAITOR

"You must be Zachary Goode?"

I turned around to the sound of a deep voice.

In front of me was a man who looked like a male version of Cammie. He had the same dishwater blonde hair and the same blue-green eyes.

"Yes that's me."

The guy smiled and ruffled up my hair, my eyes widened.

"You look exactly like you did 8 years ago," he stopped to pinch my cheek, and I instantly jerked my head back, "I guess a little taller though," he muttered.

I looked at him in disbelief.

"I'm kidding," he exclaimed, laughing, "I'm Matthew Morgan."

"Yea, I recognize you," I muttered quietly.

He scratched his neck awkwardly and he tried to the change the conversation.

"I'm glad that my daughter met someone like you along the way. Many people want to hurt her. That's my fault really. Can you promise me something, Zach?"

I nodded, knowing that he wasn't finished. He leaned into my ear and whispered almost silently.

"No matter what happens, just get Cameron out of here and keep her safe. Can you do that for me Zach? Can you promise to always keep my Cammie safe?"

His eyes searched mine for a flaw. And it felt like the world had stopped moving when I whispered, "Always."

But that's the thing; the world did stop moving, just for different reasons.

"Oh how sweet Matthew, you almost touched my heart." I turned around to come face to face with Dr. Steve.

Now, this was a top secret location of a top secret organization that I'm pretty sure only a handful of people knew about. So it amazed me how Dr. Steve found about it. And Dr. Steve isn't exactly smart, so it's pretty easy to guess what happened.

There was a traitor.

But my thoughts had taken too long and in that time, Matthew Morgan had stepped in front of me as Dr. Steve fired a gun.

"Run!" Matthew yelled, and within that second my feet controlled themselves.

I was weaving through the hallways, only hearing shouts and screams and grunts from the fighting; but only Mr. Morgan's words remained.

I had to find Cammie. I had to get her out of here.

A door at the end of the hallway opened and her head popped out, "What's going on?"

I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the exit. She protest saying that she needed to get to her father but I ignored her and just as the exit came into view, so did my mother. I abruptly stopped, pushing Cammie behind me.

"What's going on Zach?" Cammie whispered.

"Oh, hello there Zachary, I believe you have something that belongs to me," my mother said in her sugary sweet voice. My body only tensed and I remained silent.

"Did you actually believe them Zachary?" my mother taunted.

"What is she talking about Zach?" Cammie asked.

I ignored Cammie and asked my mother, "Believe what?"

She only laughed, "You actually did! Oh that's wonderful," a frown of disappointment came across her face, "Honestly, Zach, I would have expected more from you. You were always a careful child. Well, guess it proves that Joe Solomon really can screw you up."

"You know Joe Solomon?" Cammie asked, but it was again ignored.

The traitor, she was talking about the traitor. But I had no idea who it was.

I cocked my head to the side, "Who's the snitch?"

She only laughed again, "The question is, who isn't?"

In that moment walls and their peeling flowery wallpaper felt like they were closing in. The small distance between me and the exit seemed like a mile. And now Cammie, who was inches behind me, felt a lifetime away.

Her words were starting to sink in, and by the expression on her face, I knew I wasn't concealing my emotions.

It couldn't be true.

My mother got closer to me, until she was whispering in my ear, so that even Cammie couldn't hear.

"Did you really believe them? Did you really believe for one moment that those 20 boys were actually your friends? That they actually cared? You got to give it to Grayson, who would have guessed that my emotionless son was secretly a cutter."

Her laugh echoed on the wall and she backed up, finally giving me personal space.

"You really should have gone to my speech. You really should have killed that man 5 years ago, when you were first tested. Then maybe, I wouldn't have sent 20 of my finest to watch you. You had me tricked for a long time, Zachary, but looks like I won in the end."

"Screw you bitch!" I heard Jesse yell from behind me as I ducked, bringing Cammie with me. He shot his gun, hitting my mother directly in the shoulder. I slowly got up, watching her struggle with the wound.

I heard Jesse's yells and turned around to watch in horror as some of my so called friends threw him on the floor and put a knife by his neck. But that didn't stop that dirty bastard; he kept fighting with all he had.

I turned to my mother, finally getting the courage to say the words that had tormented me.

"I'm not like you, and I will never be like you. I'm not defined by what you are. I'm defined by what I am. For too many years, I've been under your judgment and your pointless crap."

I felt my breath get caught in my throat as I say my final words, "I just hope that one day you'll get it right."

I kicked her in the gut and watched as she panted, curled in pain.

I took Cammie's hand and continued running down the hallway. I pushed Cammie through as I looked at the life I was leaving for the last time.

And so I grabbed Cammie's hand as if my life depended on it (which it did) and I did something I should have done a long time ago.

I ran, and it's safe to say, that I never did look back.

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><p><strong>Guys, I'm not even kidding this is my favorite chapter. I just love the ending.<strong>

**SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER GUYS.**

**And yea, I just need to ask if you guys would be more interested in a sequel or just an epilogue. You don't have to decide now, but telling me would be really helpful.**

**SO yea,**

**Danie 3  
><strong>


	25. Chapter 25: The Burns

CHAPTER 25: THE BURNS

We ran until we were at one of Joe Solomon's cabins. (He must have a million.)

The cabin was in the middle nowhere, it was exactly what we needed.

Cammie must have fallen asleep about an hour ago, and night had fallen long ago.

But I stayed up. The emotions coursed through me as if I were high on drugs. I replayed every word my mother said, until I finally was able to accept that my best friends had betrayed me.

It had taken a whole other lot of courage to admit that they weren't my friends in the first place.

They actually used me.

I'm not gonna lie, I probably should have seen this coming.

There were signs.

Grayson showing up the same day as my mother, Jonas trying to delay searching about Samantha Pine, when Grant actually led me to the Circle attack in Rome, and Chase trying to stop me from leaving Blackthorne.

But most of all I should have noticed their eyes, their false sincerity.

I had a feeling that Matthew Morgan knew, why else would he ask me to take care of Cammie.

And I should just face the truth that I'll never get to see Jesse or my dad again. It's weird I didn't even get my dad's name.

But most of all, I should have known that no one would care. I was idiotic to think that Grayson genuinely cared about me, that any of them did.

It looks like I'm right back to where I started at the beginning of this story.

I'm still the insecure teen who hates everyday of their existence, and wants nothing more than to end their life.

I heard Cammie mumble something, and then it hit me.

This wasn't like the time before.

I had a purpose now. I had made a promise to Matthew Morgan that I would keep his daughter safe, and I would keep that promise. Even if it killed me.

I must have drifted off after that, when I woke I could swear I was in the pits of hell. The whole cabin was on fire.

Cammie shook me awake and looked at me with wide eyes, "What do we do?" she screamed.

I gave her a hand signal that meant 'follow me'. I noticed that all the windows were locked as so was the door. We were actually trapped, and I knew this was my mother's doing.

I picked up a stupid vase Joe had keep and used it to break a window. I used a blanket to push aside the remaining shards. I gave Cammie a boast as she climbed through the window, just as she touched the ground, a rafter fell down, hitting my arm on its way down.

I ignored the pain and continued climbing through the window. When my feet touched the ground, I pulled Cammie into me and slowly walked away from the burning cabin.

I heard movement and my eyes followed a thin trail of smoke that came from a match.

And the match illuminated Chase's face. But just as I had seen him, he was gone in a flash.

I held onto Cammie, and refused to let her go.

I wouldn't let her go, not even when the CIA arrived.

A few hours later I found myself in front of the director of the CIA. Mr. P, they called him. He looked at me with stern eyes, "We are going to erase Cameron Morgan's memories."

I began to protest, but he cut it off with a wave of his hand.

"Cameron Morgan has seen too much, and if things continue this way, the Circle of Caven will surely be after her. We can't afford that. That being said, you also need to stay away from her."

I opened my mouth, but again he cut me off, "Only for a little while. Just so you don't trigger the memories."

I nodded my head and he continued, "We've decided to make Cameron start CoveOps Reports in order to monitor her movements. I understand you've made a promise to her father, and I will allow you to keep it, so long as you do it from a distance. Are we clear?"

I took in a shaky breath, "Yes, sir. We are very clear."

I went to Gallagher later that day and apologized to Joe for taking Cammie. But he only smiled and gave me a hug.

The rest of that year, I did whatever I pleased.

I ended up doing some assignments for the Russian government; apparently Dr. Kal had put in a good word for me.

I also heard that Cammie got a boyfriend, a civilian I heard.

I spent the rest of my time planning. And no, not planning revenge. I spent my time planning redemption. I was trying to find a way to get the Blackthorne Boys on the right path.

I still remember the day Chase set my cabin on fire.

I had lost a friend that day.

I pulled up my sleeve and look at the light pink blotches.

No, I didn't have a best friend anymore.

I've always wondered why my life was this way. It's something I'll do until the day I may die. And if my life stays this way, it might be very soon.

And the worst part is that everyone knows. Everyone knows what kind of people we are. What we have done, what we cannot do. We can't hold ourselves back, from anything. We kill without thinking. We are merely by-standers of life. Only going through motions, no feelings. Never feelings.

But of course I was that one exception. The only one who ever loved.

The only one who could love.

We were known for not having hearts, and though we can play any role, we have no real emotions, no real purpose in our lives. Maybe once upon a time we did, but I think that time is well gone. But I wish that one day we will open your eyes to see the beauty that is in our lives. I have tried and failed to open their eyes. So I left. I blame myself if they were to end up as monsters. Only myself. Because what I did was selfish. But I couldn't help it.

And as I watch the ash pile grow larger and larger, I can't help think this was my entire fault. No one else. I had done this to them. I could have stopped this, but I didn't. I only hope one day they'll get it right.

The scars on us represent what we've done, but the black tattoo represents what we have become. And I hate what we have become. If only I could erase it all. The memories, the cries, the secrets, the tears, the lies, especially my own.

But there was still a chance. A chance because the fire is now over. The flames have died down. They weren't going to hurt us anymore.

And all that was left was the burns.

**THE END**

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><p><strong>Oh my God guys... It's over!<strong>

**I really am so thankful for all your support and for reading. You guys have no idea how much your comments and input mean to me. Writing is what I love to do the most and every comment makes my day a little brighter. Oh god, I'm crying now. You guys inspire me to keep on doing what I'm doing because I know its being appreciated. You guys have actually saved me.**

**When I first started this story I was so close to ending it all (if you know what I mean) and it's weird that now I'm smiling everyday. **

**I guess all I've ever wanted was someone to listen. And you guys are my someone.**

**With love and everything good and pure,**

**Danie**

**PS: Do you guys want a sequel?**


	26. THE SCARS

**THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES I AM BACK. AND THIS TIME BETTER THAN EVER. SOME OF YOU MIGHT HAVE SEEN AN EXTREMELY SHITTY EPILOGUE THAT I POSTED FOR LIKE A WEEK. I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT AND APOLIGIZE FOR THAT.**

**ANYWAYS, I'M MAKING A MOTHERFUCKING SEQUEL CALLED**

**THE SCARS.**

**I KNOW, FUCKING CREATIVE AS SHIT. **

**SO CHECK OUT MY PROFILE IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW THAT STORY OR WHATEVER.**

**HERE'S THE FIRST CHAPTER:**

**THE SCARS**

CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION

You know after about 5 years in assassin school, you start to notice things. Like how Chase flinches every time someone gets too close to him, a sure sign of a kid who was raped. Or like how Max always scratches his nose every time he sees someone having a private conversion. These kinds of things normal people don't notice.

But even a civilian would be able to tell that my classmates were avoiding me.

Not that I couldn't blame them, after all I did go against the Circle.

Wait, I should probably bring you up to speed.

Today was the first day of my junior year, my summer consisted of Russian missions and staying away from the Circle. I haven't seen my "friends" since last year.

At least now I didn't have to deal with their teasing or laughing or bullying. Now, it was like I didn't even exist. But for someone who was born to be invisible, that's not a bad thing.

In fact, it's probably the best thing that has ever happened to me.

So why do I feel like shit?

It's that weird feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me I'm not okay.

It's the itch on my wrists and the call of unfinished business.

It's the looks on the faces of every Blackthorne Boy ever. It's the happy faces, but sad eyes that scream to be saved.

Walking through the doors on the first day, I couldn't help but notice these things. But I didn't notice them as a spy; I noticed them as a human. As a being with feelings.

I saw them for what they were, not as emotionless assassins ready to come back to school, but as scared and lost boys who only yearned to be accepted. And that's the true thing that bonded us; it's what made us brothers. As Blackthorne Boys we wanted nothing more than to be loved.

Our pasts have taken our innocence and natural goodness and replaced it with cold hatred. We were scarred by those around us.

Those who we called family and friends, those who we assumed would always love us; they let us down.

But I feel this thing in the bottom of my stomach. Hope.

Hope that maybe one day we won't be the shells of the people we once were. Hope that one day we'll do things for good causes. Hope that one day we won't be broken anymore.

Hope because our tormentors are gone, they can't cause us anymore pain.

Hope because someday, eventually, the scars will heal.


End file.
